Avengers/MCU Oneshots

Her Boys (Natasha Romanoff)

The original six. This might be (is) the first Marvel oneshot I've written that Wanda isn't in.

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"Aha!" Tony exclaimed triumphantly as he threw open a door to find a bomb.

"Be careful!" Natasha warned him. Though, when she looked over, Tony and the rest of the guys were huddled around the bomb. Nat resisted the strong urge to facepalm as she knocked another guy out. "Boys! Disable the bomb and then you can you can discuss how cool it is."

"C'mon, Nat," Clint whined. "We still have plenty of time!"

"I swear, you boys will be the reason I die someday." They just laughed at her. She rolled her eyes. "Lord, give me patience or an untraceable handgun," She muttered to herself. She immediately whirled around and shot the guard who had tried to sneak up on her.

She ran over to the boys, shoving them aside. She quickly knelt next to the bomb and deactivated it. Then she slowly turned around, giving the guys a cold glare. They gulped, knowing that they were screwed.

"Would someone like to explain to me why you would put lives at risk to admire something that's appearance wouldn't change much once you deactivated it? You're playing with fire and lives on this job. You have to be mature."

"You must be fun at parties," Tony said sarcastically.

"Oh, trust me, I am. But THIS-" She gestured around them. "Isn't a party. Man up, and get the job done before letting boyish temptations get in the way. That goes for all of you. You keep doing this and lives WILL be lost. People WILL be killed, and it will be your inability to act mature that will be to blame. SO STOP ACTING LIKE F***ING CHILDREN!" Her voice was filled with enough fury that it made the boys gulp and step back. "Am I clear?"

They all nodded vigorously.

"Good. Now, our job Her is done, with little thanks to you boys. Get your sh** and let's go." She sashayed off.

"Well, she's feisty," Thor said.

"That she is," Clint agreed.

"How has she not killed you?" Bruce asked.

"I honestly have no idea. I think it's probably because I'm her best friend. But I think that's the only reason."

"How'd you even meet?" Tony asked.

"Fury sent me to kill her back when she was still with the KGB. I decided that she should get another chance, and it payed off."

"Sometimes it's obvious she was raised to be an evil assassin."

Clint laughed. "That it is."

-•-

Nat leaned back on the couch. She crossed her legs, taking a bite of her ramen. Her short red curls were pinned up, out of her face. Her eyes darted around the living room.

Tony appeared to be repairing a small device. Occasionally he'd pop a blueberry into his mouth. Bruce was looking at something under a microscope. Even outside the lab, the two science nerds couldn't leave their field for five minutes.

Clint was eating a slice of apple pie and restringing his bow. He deftly knotted the string into place. He took another bite of pie, washing it down with a gulp of his milkshake. He took out his hearing aid with a groan. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a pack of button batteries. He replaced the dead ones before putting the little device back into his ear.

Thor was absentmindedly throwing Mjølner from hand to hand. He set it down, taking a sip of beer. He picked up his burger and took a bite. He was watching what appeared to be Star Trek.

Steve was also eating a slice of apple pie. But he was reading the newspaper. After seventy years on ice, he liked to keep up with the latest news.

Natasha watched for a second as he flipped the page, then turned back to the tv. She slurped down a chopstick full of noddles.

Tony and Steve started bickering about something. Thor quickly joined the conversation, loudly sharing his opinion. Clint started on whatever they were talking about. An exasperated Bruce told them to be quiet so he could focus. No one listened to him. Nat felt a little bad.

A smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. While the boys could be reckless idiots, they were also great friends to have. And if anyone messed with them- well, they'd have h*** to pay from Agent Romanoff. No one touched her boys.