Avengers/MCU Oneshots

Devil On My Shoulder (ScarletWidow)

Thought I would try out a bunch of ships. A BUNCH of ships. I'm hoping to have a WinterWidow one up next. The song the this oneshot is inspired by is Devil on My Shoulder by Faith Marie. Also, TW for self-harm and suicidal thoughts.

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'Beautiful silence, beautiful pain. We're only human, we're meant to dream. Lost in life, full of mistakes. We do what feels right, then fall with no grace.'

Natasha slipped into the younger woman's bedroom. Wanda was sitting on her bed, knees bent, her feet together. She was reading a book.

"Hey, Maximoff."

"Hey." Wanda didn't look up from her book. "What are you in here for?"

"I just... wanted to say that I'm sorry about your brother."

Wanda tensed. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to relax. "Thanks. But sorry won't bring him back. Or the mistakes I made to get him in the grave."

Natasha say next to her. "You know that I'm an assassin, right?"

"Right. But you kill the bad guys."

"I didn't use to. I used to kill the target and anyone who got in my way. Have you ever killed anyone, Wanda?"

"Not directly."

"Be grateful for that. It's... it doesn't exactly leave you with good memories. But here's my point. We've both screwed up big time. We've both been brainwashed."

"Brainwashed might be a strong word for me."

"Is it though? It's what happened to you. Brainwashing isn't always how it looks in the movies. It's tough to transition. But... we all have skeletons in our closets. You're not alone." Natasha got up and left the room, leaving Wanda thinking.

'Chased by the sun, escaping flatlines. Dreams are a curse. Wake up, you're alive. Oh, slowly fading from the misery, I've accepted who I'm supposed to be. I've accepted who I'm supposed to see, lady in the mirror.'

Wanda sat bolt upright. She was shaking from the remnants of her nightmare. Sunlight streamed through the window. She sighed. Another day to make it through.

She got up, heading to the bathroom. She got ready and plastered a fake smile on her face. She hid the pain, something she'd grown good at. She left her room, and Sam starting running his mouth. She liked being around him. He was friendly, and he didn't try to make her talk. He easily had enough talking for all of the Avengers, except for maybe Stark.

Wanda was ok with calling the other Avengers by their first names, but not him. She avoided him. It was easy; he was in his lab all of the time. Apparently, his girlfriend had told him that they needed a break. Pepper, Wanda learned her name was. Tony loved her a lot.

As Sam chattered on, Wanda went numb to the world. She could still process everything, but she felt... oddly detached from herself. It was a strange sensation, and it had been happening a lot since Pietro. Sam said it was called depersonalization, and it was normal for people with anxiety, depression, or PTSD. People like her. And the other Avengers.

Sam, being that chatterbox he was, had told her about how his best friend ad war buddy had dies. He said that Steve had a similar experience, but it was complicated. And also not his story to tell.

She was curious, and had been strongly tempted to just search his mind, but she held back. She would just have to ask.

Sam nudged her. She noticed, but it took her a seemingly eternity to process how to react to the action. Sam looked her up and down before grabbing her arm and setting her on the stack of training mats. "You just stay here until the episode ends, ok?"