The Journey to Freedom: Path to WW3

Chapter LI

I'm a man with many defects. I love. I sing. I dream. I was born in the poor countryside. I was raised in the countryside, planting corn and selling sweets made by my grandmother. My children, my two daughters are with me and I want a better world for my grandchildren, for your grandchildren.

Hugo Chavez

I finally stopped pacing back and forward and walked over to Eve and sat next to her. The sun had been out for a while and she was holding the coyote skin. "It's so soft. I never thought that I would be this close to a coyote in my whole life. I only saw them in movies and in the zoo." Eve says while putting the fur up to her cheek.

I remind her that its day three of her training and that we should clean up camp and start walking back to my godfather's house. She tells me that she can't wait to leave because she wanted to go back to civilization. I let out a small laugh because Mary and the kids were still on my mind.

"Sweetie, I have a question for you. Let's say that hypothetically there was a situation where I had more kids, but I didn't know about, but then I remembered that I had another let's say, two kids. And I wanted to go and find them. What would you say?" I ask Eve.

Eve continues to put the stuff up and says, "Well, since you didn't know about them, but suddenly remembered that you had two other kids, how could you forget about them or how did you know that you had more kids out there?"

I reply with a sigh, "I don't know, I'm just making up a scenario, because, I don't know. Well back then I used to be kind of a whore. I slept around with a few women, but I never knew if they got pregnant. But what if one of them did get pregnant with two kids, but never told me that she got pregnant. And I wanted to find this person to see if she really did get pregnant. I just can't live with myself thinking that I may have kids out there and their mom is telling them that I ran out of them because I was never told that they existed. I don't want to look like a dead beat dad. I don't want to be like my father."

Eve sits down and looks at me with a loving face and says, "If you think that you have kids out there then maybe we should go find them. Or even if they didn't have kids, its better to be sure for a fact because I don't think that if I was in your shoes, I could live with myself thinking also that there may be kids out there that belong to me. I always wanted kids, but can't have any, but you can, and if you were never told, then maybe it's better to be safe than sorry and kill the heartache that you have. And besides, more kids with you means more kids for me to really connect to and be a mother too. I would love the fact that the twins would have more siblings to play with and to look up to."

I sigh and nod. Eve looks at me puzzled and asks why the hypothetical question. And I reply, "there might be a chance that I have two older kids out there with one of my mom's friend's daughter. I was very young and we slept together twice. The first time she left after we slept together, I guess she knew we made a mistake and then like a year later her mom appeared at my mom's house with a baby saying that her daughter had a baby but didn't want to say who the father was and my mom told her that as long as she has a mother, the baby can be raised right. Then a few months later I saw Mary after Monique and I were on the verge of a break up because I got blamed for a school fire and was going to jail for a long time. When Monique left, she left pregnant and told me that she wasn't sure that she wanted to keep the baby. But years later, she told me that she had an abortion. Which is weird because Monique was against abortions. I guess she didn't want to have a hassle of raising the kid with the father being in prison. So, not to get off-topic, well, Mary showed up and I think she was going to tell me that her child was ours. And she didn't get to tell me anything because she saw me crying over Monique when she left. We talked about it for hours while everyone was in the back. I offered her to come in for a drink and one thing led to another and we slept together and when we were done, she cried and told me that it was a mistake to tell me anything and to come to see me because I was already going through a lot and that she didn't want to add more to my plate. Then she got dressed and left. Turns out that a year later she had another child and then dropped off the face of the earth."