Wake Me Up

Christmas lights

"Still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn't really feel like Christmas at all

Those Christmas lights
Light up the street
Maybe they'll bring her back to me
Then all my troubles will be gone
Oh Christmas lights keep shining on"

We are being serenade by a Christmas song inside his car. No one dared to talk. We just let the music filled the car as we trailed the road down the town.

I thought christmas is just a feast day where people celebrates love and happiness. But I was wrong.

Christmas may be special for others, but there might be also someone silently weeping .. crying for love. Just like christmas lights shining through darkest night of December, and without it saddens the soul, what about the love that left someone alone?

"I thought you're not coming back .." Joaquin started a conversation just when we're about to reach the town.

Tumingin ako sa kanya na nanatiling nakatuon ang mga mata sa harap ng kotse.

"Why did you think so?" I said with a low voice like I'm afraid to break the pleasing moment.

Sumulyap siya sa akin bago muling tumingin sa unahan. I am staring at him while debating in my mind. He's trying to say something. I wonder what is it.

"The promise we made long time ago, it's still on, isn't it?" Nakatuon pa rin ang atensyon niya sa pagmamaneho habang nagsasalita. His voice is serious and calm as if he's been so sure of everything.

I looked outside the window of the car and begin to think. We have made a promise of marrying once I'm done with my training in BFP. I don't have a thought of breaking it not until I've dreamed of strangely things.

Alam kong panaginip lang ang lahat. Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit parati ko iyong naiisip. Hanggang ngayon malinaw pa rin sa akin ang kanyang mukha. Nararamdaman ko pa rin ang lungkot sa tuwing naiisip ko ang pag-ibig na aking natikman sa loob ng aking panaginip.

May panghihinayang na sumasagi sa aking dibdib tuwing naiisip kong isa lang iyong panaginip na imposibleng magkatotoo.

Muli kong naalala ang lalaking  nakita ko sa terminal nang bagong dating pa lang ako. He really looks like Samuel. Pakiramdam ko'y nabuhay ang lalaki mula sa aking panaginip. And I got so confused.

"Is it really possible for a dream to become true?" Wala sarili kong tanong.

"What?" Takang tanong sa akin Joaquin. "Why did you ask?" Nakakunot  ang noo nito habang minamaniobra ang kotse sa parking lot ng mall.

Ilang sandali ng nakatigil ang kotse ngunit wala sa amin ang nagtangkang bumaba habang kapwa malalim ang iniisip.

"Don't think about it. It's nothing." Umiling ako at bahagyang ngumiti bago mabilis nang bumaba ng kotse.

Marami ng mga tao nang dumating kami sa bayan. Bukas na din ang nag-iisang mall at halos mapuno na ng mga tao. Marahil ay last minute shopping na ng karamihan para sa darating na pasko.

"Dalawang linggo na lang pala at pasko na. "  Sabi ko habang inililinga ang mata sa paligid na parang may hinahanap.

"Are you looking for something?" Joaquin asked me.

"Naghahanap ako ng pwede kong iregalo sa'yo." I kid around to hide a lie.

He chuckled shortly.

"You already know what I want .." He looked at me. Sandali kaming tumigil sa aming paglalakad.

"Yeah. You're right .." I smiled at him before moving my feet away.

After a long and tiring walk at the mall, our day ended in a restaurant near the town. It is an intimate place good for those who want to escape the disturbing noise of the city.

"Still remember this place?" Tanong ni Joaquin.

"Of course .. How am I gonna forget this?" I said as I scanned the place. "Nothing change, I guess?"

We chose to sit on our favorite spot overlooking the peaceful field of sunflowers.

Hindi ko makakalimutan ang lugar na ito. This is where we made our promise. This is where I promise to marry him.

"Simula nang umalis ka hindi na ako pumupunta dito. This place reminds me so much of you." He stopped for a moment when the waiter gave us the menu.

"Here's the menu, Sir." Umalis na ang waiter pagkasabi niyon at hinayaan muna kaming pumili ng aming oorderin.

"I'll have baby back ribs and a glass of shake. Na-miss ko yun." I said without looking at the menu. Iyon ang lagi kong inoorder dito. The taste is so priceless!

"Ok. I guess they're still serving the same menu .." Joaquin called a waiter for our order. "Wala ka na bang idadagdag?" Tanong ni Joaquin.

Umiling ako at saka ngumiti sa waiter na naghihintay ng aming order. The waiter excused himself after getting our order.

"Isabelle! Give us some wine shake!" The restaurant is disturbed by the group of tattooed me. They occupied the longer table near us.

"Who are they?" I asked Joaquin with scared face. Nakakunot ang aking noo habang nakatingin kay Joaquin na nakatuon pa rin ang mata sa grupo ng mga lalaki.

"Hindi ko alam. Ngayon lang ulit ako pumunta dito, remember?" He told me trying to kid around. But the fear inside me  is getting bigger that my body starts to tremble.

"Kailangan ba talaga nilang sumigaw? Sila ba ang may-ari nitong restaurant?" Inis kong sambit pero mahina lang. Baka marinig ako, nakakatakot pa naman ang mga itsura nila.

"Huwag mo na lang silang pansinin." Payo sa akin ni Joaquin.

Sinunod ko naman ang sinabi niya at muling tumingin sa labas at pinagsawa ang mga mata sa magagandang bulaklak na naiilawan ng iba't ibang kulay ng christmas lights. The scene looks very romantic.

Isang mabining kanta ang pumailanlang sa paligid na nakadagdag sa romantic na ambiance ng lugar. It's one of my favorite song.

"I've loved you forever
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow
Forever has now begun

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)each loving day (each loving day)
And know this feeling won't go away (no)
Til' the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you"