Wake Me Up

On Christmas Eve

Dionne's POV

On christmas eve, when people outside cheers with joy and greats, here we are solving a puzzle which trapped us for like a decade. Now, I realized I've been living in blur .. inside my lucid dreams. I felt like I'm a lost kid running from reality. I didn't even realized how I'd been seeing a total different version of truth .. a false hope and fake memories.

But I am still that kid who's waiting for Santa to bring my own presents and some treats. Or maybe I already have it right in front of me?

"I lost the reason why I keep on dreaming of you .. but one last question, can you be my reality instead?"

Did I just hear it right?

Am I just dreaming? I want to pinch myself  but that's too childish of me. Mas gugustuhin kong maniwala na nananaginip lang ako kaysa umasa na naman ako sa wala. Nakakapagod na. Nakakatakot ...

But he looks so serious with his voice full of sincerity. How can I even mistook it?

He also told me how sorry he was. And I want to believe that he really meant it. No, I can feel it. Even my heart beats the same way when he lift the fog inside my head.

"I'M SORRY .. I think I'd crossed the line." I gazed at him for a moment. I don't know what to feel anymore. I'm confused.

Para akong pinaglalaruan ng sarili kong damdamin. I know, and it's very clear to me, I have to stay away from him .. but why do feel like I'm losing the confidence to do so?

"Ilang beses mo na akong tinatanong kung bakit .. pero hindi ko masagot-sagot ang simpleng tanong na iyon. Dahil kahit ako .. hindi ko rin alam kung bakit napakabigat ng loob ko sa'yo .. Alam ko naman, wala kang ginagawang masama, but I always try to find fault with your simple acts. " my heart beats erratically with the weight of his stare.

Nag-uunahan sa pagtibok ang puso ko na para akong hinahabol ng katotohanan at  panaginip na patuloy na naglalaro sa utak ko. Nahihirapan akong tanggapin ang katotohanan dahil sa mga nangyari. I felt like it's too good to be true.

Wala akong mahanap na salita kaya pinili ko na lang na manahimik at makinig sa mga sinasabi niya.

A short silence interrupt us until he spilled another question which I truly didn't expect.

"Who are you?" He asked in very serious tone.

Sandali akong hindi nakapagsalita at pilit inunawa ang kanyang sinabi. Bakit ba parati nila akong tinatanong kung sino ako?

I called his attention but he seemed bothered and didn't hear me talking.

"Samuel ..?" Muli ko siyang tinawag ngunit hindi ito tumugon at parang napakalalim ng iniisip. Muli akong nagsalita para kunin ang kanyang atensyon. "W-what did you say?"

I looked at him intently trying to figure out what's in his mind but he just left me hanging on his dark manipulating eyes.

"Who are you?" He asked again.  "I've been wanting to ask you that. Since the day I've met you, my life has changed .. a lot." He heaved a sigh before his face turned into dusk.

"W-why? Why do you want to know?" I almost lost my breathe as my body began to tremble.

Napakaraming tumatakbo sa aking isip ngunit walang lumalabas sa aking bibig. Para akong naubusan ng mga salita na makakapaglarawan ng aking nararamdaman. I am literally speechless though my mind has a lot to say .. I lost words.

Tumayo si Samuel mula sa kanyang kinauupuan at saka tumanaw sa labas. Kahit maliwanag ang paligid tanaw pa rin ang maliliit na bituin sa langit.

"Have we met before?" His voice brings more shiver inside my body as the wind blows a chilly touch.