Wednesday, May 13, 2020
~~~
Apathy.
When you can't muster up the will to give a passing care.
Or as I like it call it, most of my life.
When you know you're not feeling well, that you're not getting emotionally connected to things, but you slip so easily into it that you're already deep in it so you do nothing.
When you become emotionally numb to most things because honestly? If I wasn't, I'd be crying or screaming every ten minutes.
Oh, there was ANOTHER SHOOTING AT A WORKPLACE? You act as if that doesn't happen often.
Oh, the president is saying something completely false and stupid? You act as if this isn't a daily occurrence.
Oh, there was a SCHOOL SHOOTING? You pretend this'll cause any change when really no one cares about us students.
Oh, people can't afford to survive in this economy? You say it as if this is new information.
Oh, the younger generations are more depressed and anxious? You ask why as if you don't have a top five list of the reasons constantly in the back of your head.
I almost welcome my bouts of apathy because finally, I won't have to feel for a while because I can't take this much longer.
But I shouldn't be welcoming it. Apathy is bad, it keeps us from feeling affected by others and blocks our emotions. However, in the society we live in, having dulled emotions gives me a peace I never thought I'd get otherwise.
It's addicting, letting the feeling of numbness wash over me, allowing it to take over, shutting down my emotions. It's an addiction I may never overcome, and I'm not sure I could fight and win.
Stay safe kiddos, eat your fruits (or vegetables but I highly doubt that), and squeeze lemon juice into your enemies' wounds.
All my love <3<3<3
~Ink
