Wednesday, June 17, 2020
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Pride Day 17: thing that crosses your mind a lot
I could die right now, and at least a hundred people would think I'd abandoned everything, including them, because no one knows about my online accounts. And that terrifies me.
~~~
Why is it that in this generation (gen z) is so ready to just, die? And no one seems to care that we feel like this?
I mean, other generations have literally gone through a war, and yet they still had hope in the future. Meanwhile we're going through social revolutions and global warming and anti-vac people and a resurgence of white supremacy and homophobia and transphobia and religious chaos and the possibility of nuclear war that would end up with everyone dead in a matter of minutes and a dying future, and yet we laugh over uno reverse cards and are willing to die at anytime. And no one seems to see what we see.
We all are having mid life crises at sixteen (or insert your age here).
We live in constant fear of gun violence or a thousand and one things.
We are ridden with depression and anxiety and so many mental illnesses.
We joke about feeling happiness because we literally have a hard time feeling truly happy most of the time.
We consider getting more than five or six hours a miracle.
We rely on coffee and caffeine to stay awake and alive.
We put our grades and everything else before our health because that's how you get through this life.
We've accepted that we'll have student debt until we're seventy or dead.
We dream of just being able to do what we love and survive.
We hide away so much of us from family or friends or both just to keep up bonds with these people.
We clutch to fairytales and stories because by holding on to them, maybe we can feel alive through their stories and lives.
We laugh and joke because if we didn't we'd be crying and screaming.
We battle each day just to keep from ending it all, because the future we see is that bleak.
And yet, no one sees this. No one sees the future we see.
And that's what keeps me awake at night, the knowledge that, until the younger generations start aging up into politics, things are volatile. The world could be dead by then. We could be on an inescapable, unreversable course and there's nothing to be done about it, because we're young and no one actually listens to us except others of our age or groups who have been trying for years with no success.
Stay safe kiddos. Cuddle with someone you love or a stuffed animal/blanket/pillow you love.
All my love <3<3<3
~Ink
