Thursday, August 6, 2020
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I hate when people say "I'll let you do ___"
(Context: in my house, with my family)
Like, excuse me? You'll "allow" me to heat up my leftovers first, when I'm the one who pulled everything out first and got my food ready first?
Oh, you'll "allow" me to leave for my room when it's my room? I can come and go as I please?
How generous of you to "allow" me to keep what I'm doing on my phone private for now! It's not like you don't have any right to know or anything!
It's just, you're not "allowing" me to do anything, you're just assuming I need your permission to do something or to have something when you hold no authority over that.
I remember when I was eight or nine, and the threatened punishment was my parents taking the door off my room so I literally had no door. They never did it, but still....
I just..... is this why I have issues with privacy/right? Because I feel subconsciously that with my parents I have no privacy/rights and the privacy/rights I'm given are made to look like I do, but in reality I don't? Is that it?
Is that why I have issues opening up to people? Is that why I hate the idea of letting people into my space, because it's my space and I already have so little that is mine anyway that I can't bear to loss anymore to others?
How many issues do I have buried subconsciously because of things like this?
How many have I found/realized?
And how many more do I have?
Stay safe kiddos and at the very least eat a cracker for me? Please?
I love you <3<3<3
~Ink
