Saturday, May 30, 2020
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Quick note: pridefall may or may not be a hoax, I'm getting mixed signals o that front, though it seems to be leaning towards hoax. Either way, stay care and be aware of the potential for people to go through with things like pridefall.
Also, I'm again sorry for a short chapter!
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So I may have an issue. It's not bad, just confusing.
I have this friend. She's a great artist, loves nature (like she raises frogs she finds as tadpoles in the pond in her neighborhood), is an excellent tree climber, and is really into certain animes. Oh, and she's learning Japanese. She's also aro ace and the one who helped me figure out that I'm ace. Basically she's amazing.
I think I have a crush on her??
Quick fact you may not know: Aces can still fall in love romantically!
In my case, I'm not interested in sex or kissing or really anything too physical, I'm more of attracted (I think) to the emotional side of a relationship.
Anyways, I think I have a crush on this friend because I want to talk to her every day, by text or in person, and just generally love being around her. Problem is, IS THAT A CRUSH OR HUST FRIENDSHIP?!?!?!
And another thing! She's aro ace, so even if I do have a crush on her and I do tell her that I have a crush, we'd probably never happen because she's not interested in that at all. And then our friendship would get weird and I just- she's really important to me, whether I have a crush or not. Her friendship is everything to me and I don't want to hurt it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I LIKE HER IN A ROMANTIC SENSE AND I'M ANXIOUS OVER THIS!!
Ugh, if anyone ever tells you being ace is easy, it's not. What even is romantic love, really? How is it different from platonic love?? Am I demi??? Am I gray????
Honestly what is life, where I may or may not have a crush on my aro ace friend and am questioning what love even is and what my sexuality is.
I give up, I'll figure it out someday maybe.
Stay safe kiddos, remember to be gay (and/or yourself), start fires, and do crimes.
I love you all platonically <3<3<3
~Ink
