Losing My Mind

Chapter 9

They return to the house, where they are told to celebrate Melody's farewell and the first night's live show. But Ryleigh didn't feel like celebrating, and it showed on her face. Instead, she chose to keep her distance but act for the camera and take pictures as if nothing had happened.

They were filmed saying their goodbyes to Melody the following day. She didn't know her well, but Melody never made it back to her bed last night, and neither did Blake. It made her wonder if the people who were watching him were enjoying his shenanigans. If not, Blake should be next to leave in her theory.

The producers instructed them to sit and re-watch the episode shown to the general public. Everyone got excited while Ryleigh was there analysing why it pissed Russell off. She sat on the couch and sat next to Ester in her comfy bottoms and hoodie.

It began to look good, and she seemed to enjoy watching herself and recognising how much she had improved in a short period, even surprising herself. It wasn't until the first party they had in the evening when Blake tried it on with her, but she clearly said no and told him to back off.

They even show her and Rory talking in the kitchen the next day, to the point where he stroked around her shoulder, asking about the tattoo, while she stroked his forearm. Because of how much they touched each other, it must have seemed as if she was flirting, but it was all innocent, wasn't it? Her palms tingled a little as she remembered Rory with her at that moment.

To Ryleigh's dismay, she texted Russell after it was over, explaining that she understood why and that they should chat again. She never meant to upset him; it was never her intention. All Ryleigh was doing was being herself. It's just that Rory's unpredictable nature often throws her off with his witty remarks.

She wanted some space, so she sat by the pool, soaking her feet in the chlorine. The suns' rays soothed her negative thoughts as if being in the sun always put her in a better mood. Since the weather in the United Kingdom was always gloomy. Ryleigh never thought how much she changes, like the seasons.

Rory had been watching her all morning, waiting for the right moment to ask if she is okay because she can see her mind ticking away. When watching the episode he sometimes shifted his eyes at her when it was them in the kitchen, and she kept her eyes glued to the screen. The moments her soft fingertips touched his arm, he had savoued the memory of their first personal conversation.

It bothered Rory why she became distant after taking that phone call at the show. She hasn't been the same; she looked like that when she talked to her fiancée a few days ago. His instincts were right. Ryleigh has done something to him, and he's opened up to her in a way that he doesn't usually do with new people.

'Hey, mind if I join you?' Rory is standing next to her, looking down at her.

'If you want to, I'm not good company today.' Ryleigh said truthfully, as he deserved to know after treating her so well during the live show.

'I don't mind that.' He sits next to her, his feet in the water as well. Rory looks around to see what she's looking at, admiring the trees swaying in the breeze. 'If something is bothering you, it's best to let it all out....At least while the cameras are off.' He talks to her with kindness, and Ryleigh sighs.

'My family and fiancée don't think me being here is a good idea and think I should leave and go home.'

'That sucks.' Rory disliked it more than he intended to, and he felt sorry for her because people close to her were hurting her.

'I know I have a well-paid job, a house and him back home, but something is missing from my life, and I didn't know what it was until now.

'When I was on that stage, I've never felt so alive and free. It felt like I belonged there, and I could do it forever.' Her enthusiasm and excitement in her gaze lifted Rory's spirits, and he sensed her need and hunger for this.

'The way they edit the filming didn't help,' Ryleigh continues, 'he thinks that I'm acting like a tart the way I'm dressing and acting with you all.'

'Ryleigh, nobody should ever think of you like that. They should believe you and take you as you are. I don't see you like that...'

She looked at him and the tension in his voice reflected on how she was feeling.

'...If they can't accept you for what you want to be, tell them how it is. They have to understand, and they will eventually when you're going through each week. I don't think you should change from what you're doing now.' Rory has this way of caring in that he doesn't show it too much, but when he does, it's meaningful, and he shares their pain.

Ryleigh gawps at him, holding back the tears.

'Thank you, Rory.' He puts his arm around her and squeezes her, providing her with the feeling of comfort she hasn't felt in a long time. As Rory holds her, he clings to the possibility of being close to someone more than ever before and decides he needs her as much as she needs him.

After their conversation, she cheered up and received Russell's text saying they would talk tonight. First, however, she needed to tell him upfront that she was doing this for a good reason and hoped he would be supportive. Also, nothing is happening between her and the other competitors.

Russell seemed apprehensive throughout their conversation, but he knows she's a loyal person, and he did apologise. Russell said that she looked good on stage and that everyone in her hometown was cheering for her. They shared a few words about how much they missed each other and wished her luck.