Losing My Mind

Chapter 16

Ryleigh awoke with a blanket draped over her and no one else on the couch. As she walked to the kitchen, her mouth was dry, thirsty for water, and she could see everyone relaxing by the pool through the window. Rory was the one she was desperate to see, but he didn't seem to be there; maybe he had gone out. She also seemed tempted to go outside but decided against it because the cool breeze from the air conditioner kept her body temperature tolerable.

As she felt better and more herself, she took advantage of the studio and began thinking about her song. Her attention was drawn to the piano, and she aspired to master the sequence Rory taught her. Her soft fingers play freely and produce a calming sound, allowing her to play easily. Finally, after a period of frustration, she picks up the guitar and begins to pluck some chords.

She metaphorically uses the term "gravity" to express letting go of all of the hurt and searching for herself. The anger comes from her relationship with her mother, the confused love she has for Russell and her new friendships that make her change for the better, and how the city has made her open her eyes.

'Which bit are you thinking of making screamo?' Rory asks as he enters.

When returning from his visit with Josh, he can hear her voice softly echoing in the hallway. Rory needed some alone time to consider what he should do with his feelings for Ryleigh and whether he should do anything. He first opposes the idea of calling Josh, but he needed to talk with someone who was not in the public eye at the moment.

They didn't get along at first, but Josh seemed to care about his future and where he needed to go to be successful. Rory admits he was hard on Josh at first, but after revealing his issues, he gained respect for him and apologised for his behaviour. His time with him has cleared his conscience and allowed them to start over.

'I'm hoping in the middle-eight part. I'm tempted to do it on the chorus, but I won't bother if I can't.

'I'm glad you're better.' He joins her and takes a seat on the couch.

'I am, thanks.' She smiles, 'Thanks for looking after me today, even though you're quite bossy.' Ryleigh kids.

'You need to listen to me more.' He smirks.

'Not going to happen.' She reciprocated with a smirk and a friendly chuckle. Ryleigh put the guitar down and turned her attention back to Rory. 'How do you do it? The screaming, what's the technique?'

'I think it's better to learn with the teacher tomorrow. I'll teach you some bad habits.' When he heard a buzz in his pocket, he forgot about Ryleigh's phone and handed it to her. 'It's been going off all day, don't know what for.' He lies to her.

Ryleigh checks her phone and discovers eight missed messages and a call from her mum. She gets up from the shock and reads all of Russell's.

"We need to talk."

"Is it really the show editing it? It doesn't look like it to me."

"How can I believe you when I see things like that?"

"Call me when you give a shit."

"Are you going to ignore me now?"

"Ryleigh, please tell me what I am seeing is not true?"

"How can I trust you?"

"Please just quit and come home."

As she stares at the phone, she doubts her relationship with Russell. She misses him a bit, but not nearly as much as before. As she remains here, the tension between them grows by the second. And the more she speaks to him, the more unpleasant their conversations get. She's worried about what he's read on the internet because of the messages he's sent her. Should she stay with someone who doesn't share her aspirations wholeheartedly?

Rory stands up to be next to her as she reads them, looking distressed.

'Are you ok?'

'I....I don't know. I don't know what to do.' Ryleigh attempts to hold back tears as he quickly glances over her screen.

'You need to talk to him.' He gives her advice, but it triggers a stabbing pain in his stomach. 'He'll understand.' Rory encircles her with one arm and pulls her against his chest. It comforted her, and she could hear his heart racing in his chest.

'I don't know if I can.' She crooks her neck up and gazes into his dark eyes, her lips partially open, as he dreams of having them and seeing's her innocent green eyes noticing her pain.

'You need to.' He kisses her on the temple and leaves to give her some privacy. Before he goes, she grabs his hand and looks back.

'Thank you for believing in me, Rory.' He walks away with a false smile on his face, and it hurts because he remembers her announcing earlier in her dreams.

If Ryleigh were single, he would have kissed her by now. But instead, Rory wondered what these feelings for Ryleigh were, and something about her stood out from the other girls, so he concluded she wasn't like the others. Her carefree character and playful comments towards him and how understandable she is with him. He needed to stop these feelings from growing, or else he'd never be able to stop falling for her, but he just could not.

Ryleigh couldn't call Russell right now because it was late in the UK, so she left him a message saying they'd talk the next day after her singing lesson. She starts to consider shifting to Rory, and it could be because he's here and how briskly they clicked with each other and formed this strong friendship. She tries carefully not to think about him in a lovingly way, but sometimes she can't avoid it. Ryleigh might have to face it; she might have nothing at home for her anymore and would have to start over, and if all of this fails, where would she go? She pushes these negative thoughts aside, trying not to think about them.