Losing My Mind

Chapter 20

With everything all set and ready with her song and music video, the day had finally come to do the live show. Unfortunately, Ryleigh's nerves got the best of her, and she couldn't seem to get her vocals in tune enough to perform live. Another blow to her confidence.

Her one-on-one with Marcus, her couch, wasn't any better, as she struggled to keep screaming and singing one after the other. With his input and modest modifications to the music, her song sounded a million times better, but the vocals still weren't up to par.

As it was her turn to rehearse on stage, it was still a strain, and her throat became dry and thirsty the entire time. She'd done enough practice to avoid overdoing it, but she coughed up the tickly throat when she finished.

'You alright, Ryleigh?' Marcus asks.

She nods while swallowing her breath back. 'Yes, I'll be ok.'

'I think you are pushing a bit too hard on the screamo parts than you need to. Take a break for now and do some breathing techniques with the teacher.'

She nods and exits the stage. Since arguing with Russell, she hasn't been herself and has put on a happy face to cover it. But, if Ryleigh intended to make this her future career, she needed to get rid of all her doubts.

She sits in the dressing room with Kelsie, getting her make-up and hair done, and tells her the situation with Russell.

'I don't understand why he is acting like this, well I do, but I wished he would believe me.' Ryleigh sounded frustrated.

'He's probably missing you and doesn't know how to deal with it.'

'I don't know. It seems more than that.' She sighs as she looks at herself in the mirror. 'I'm not cut out for this. I'm probably going to flunk it tonight so that I can go home.'

'Ryleigh, you don't want to be doing that.' Kelsie told her adamantly. 'You have an amazing fan base out there, and your song and video are streaming well. Why give it all up now?'

Ryleigh looks at her hands and picks at her nail polish. 'I don't want to, but if I fail, I have no choice but to go back home.'

'That's what I thought at first when I was here with my ex, but Josh helped me through it.' Kelsie stops her hands from moving and makes Ryleigh look at her. 'Ryleigh, if this doesn't work out, there are other things you can do. This isn't just it. You are an amazing singer, now stop moping and start acting like one.'

Ryleigh smiles as a thank you.

Rory listened as he stood by the door. He didn't want to, but it seemed serious, and he was concerned about her intentions. He needs to find a way to persuade her to rethink. From what Kelsie was saying, he hoped that was enough to convince Ryleigh to stay. Rory had come over to offer her some honey and lemon tea to help with her sore throat. He indicated his entry by tapping twice on the door, and Ryleigh spotted him in the reflection of the mirror.

'Hey, Rory.' Kelsie says.

'Hey, K, I would have gotten you one if I knew you were here.'

'It's fine. I'll get myself some coffee.' She tells him and winks as she leaves the room. Rory took Kelsie's chair and handed Ryleigh the tea, which she gladly accepted.

'How did the coaching go?' Rory asks.

'It was ok. He's given me a technique to try when I perform tonight. Hopefully, it'll work.' Rory can tell when she's wearing a fake smile. He had been watching her all week, reading her facial expressions and assessing how good an actress she was in front of others. But not to Rory.

'How are you feeling about tonight? You seem pretty quiet.'

'I'm ok...', She puts a strand of hair behind her ear, '...but I don't think I'll do well tonight. I'm thinking of going to flunk it so that I can go home.'

'No, Ryleigh, don't...' He tells her firmly. She shrugs, and he takes her hand in his and feels the warmth of holding her tea. '...You don't need to do that. Whatever has happened this week - never bring it on stage with you. It won't make you the right person you want to be on there.

Like you said, once you go on there, you feel alive and free, and they all like it - I do too. So you shouldn't throw this away because people are telling you to. You should be doing this. Isn't that the purpose of this song you've written?'

Ryleigh agreed.

'Yes, that's the reason I wrote it. But with everything that has happened, I don't know if I can fix this.'

'Don't. Things happen for a reason. Take it as it is. I had to think like that when I was behind bars. I felt like giving up on the things I was fighting for once. But, Layla got me through it knowing I have something worth living for.'

She leans forward for a hug. 'Thanks, Rory.'

Rory reassures her with a gentle squeeze that everything will be fine and that he will always be there for her. But suddenly, like a tonne of bricks, another wave of affection for Ryleigh rushed over him. He's not sure if they're just friends or if there's something more between them.

She clings to him firmly as she experiences his compassion once more. Every time she receives one of his hugs, her stomach knots. She was on the edge of crying due to having a tough week, but she fought the urge. Her heart flutters quicker as his generosity moves her. At the same time, her heart ached. She thinks it's because she's never met somebody like Rory, who understands her before she does and doesn't need her to explain every detail of a problem. Her heart aches even more, knowing she shouldn't fall for him.

'Ryleigh, it's time to change.' When a woman speaks up, she lets go of Rory.

Staring into his brown eyes once more, she gets out of her chair and kisses him on the cheek.

'I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast.' She wanders away, and he can't help but smile.