The Lady and the Genius.

I promise I will be fine.

Me and Spencer were putting pins on the houses of the victims before we went through the list of Churches while Rossi, Prentiss and Hotch went to interview one of the family members.
"The pin should be a little more to the left." Spencer told before I put the pin in.
"Thanks."
'He seriously can't still be mad at the wanker is he?'
"Are you still upset about what happened?" I whispered so the others didn't hear.
"He was rude to you." He simply told.
"Who cares if he was or wasn't. Like I've said my style is one that doesn't exactly scream FBI agent. He may be right in me needing to wear more outfits that fit the look of being in the FBI." I told which made him tense.
"Pretty boy you good?"
"I'm going to get some coffee." He told before putting what he was holding down.
"Don't do anything stupid." I told as he quickly left.
The room fell into silence again and I pushed another pin in before J broke it.
"River, do you know why Spencer has been looking annoyed since the house?"
"Just something the dude said about me." I told as I gave a shrug.
"What did he say about you?" Derek asked
"Nothing important."
"Then why is pretty boy acting like that?"
"Don't know. I've told him it's fine but he doesn't think it is."
The rest of the team came back as Spencer came back with a coffee with the same annoyed look in his face.
'At least he's didn't do anything stupid.'
"So how was the mum?" J asked.
"She didn't know anything about her daughter being depressed." Hotch told
"She said twice sometimes three time a she would be gone for a few hours to study with her friends."
"Probably was when her meetings were." Spencer told
"Why wouldn't she want her mum to know?"
"Sometimes it's the shame or guilt of what your doing." I told that made them all but Spencer give a confused look. "When people are depressed they don't really tell anyone. They hide it because if you tell someone your depressed they feel sad towards you which makes the person depressed feel a rise in shame that you were the ones to cause that sadness, and it creates this guilt in them that you couldn't be good enough to not cause the self harm and negative thoughts in your brain to go away."
"You seem to know a lot about what it's like to have depression baby." Derek told
"I have a PhD in psychology so yeah I do." I told before going back to the board and went to place a pin down for the churches.
'Stupid emotions.'
"Oh Dr.Finley, there's a church right there." Spencer told as he pointed to one to help bring the attention back to the case.
"Thanks." I said as he knew what I was really saying it to.
"Finley can I have a chat with you alone?" Hotch asked.
"Certainly sir." I told as I handed the pins to Spencer so he could continue.
We walked out and went into the break room where no was.
"How are you going?"
"Fine?"
"You seem unsure."
"I'm confused why you're asking."
"How are you going with your emotions and your past? I know....."
"Agent Hotch. I know you worry for me but I'm fine. My past hasn't effected me in the slightest."
"You sure?"
"Profile me. If you don't believe me then profile me."
"No I believe you. I'm just making sure. But if it...."
"If it does I will remove myself from the case to clear my head. I know."
"Good. How's the relationship? He is acting annoyed."
"A dude said something to me and he is letting it get to him."
"Are you?"
"No."
"If he lets it get to him anymore I will talk to him."
"Thank you sir."
We made our way back to the others and were looking over churches.
'This is going to be long.'

It was called a day and I headed back to the hotel we were staying at in silence as me and Spencer were in the back while Derek drove and J sat in the front talking to Will. As soon as we got to the hotel I got out of the car and went to my room sitting on my bed and holding my face contemplating on what I'm meant to do.
'Spencer is mad, Aaron is worried, dick dude comment is still in my head. The circle of life.'
I got up from my spot and went through my clothes that I unpacked all my clothes and separated them into two piles. I put the first pile neatly back into my bag before changing into some jeans and placed my skirt neatly into the bag. I moved to the second pile grabbing a jumper before leaving my room and began to walk to make my way to the closest open store.
'This is fine.'
After half an hour of trying on and some help I left with four items and made my way back to my room. Once I was in and the door was shut I walked back over to my bed and added the new pieces of the outfits to the pile and let out a sigh.
'Your just tired. It's been a long first day and that's fine. Your fine.'
I carefully took the tags off the clothes and placed them on the side table before I put the 2nd pile on top of my bag. My phone buzzed and I looked to see it was J.

"Hey, we are meeting up down stairs to have some dinner. Wanna join?"

'I could lie and tell them no but they make me happy and maybe Spencer will be less mad.'

"Sure. I'll be down in a few."
"Great."

I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs to see the others smiling and waiting for me which made me smile.
'I love my family.'
I quickly joined up with them and we made our way to the dining area for dinner.