The Lady and the Genius.

This is not a surprise.

I was working on some paperwork in the bullpen since our case only lasted two days when Morgan got a chair and sat next to me.
"Baby girl please tell me you are not busy tonight."
"I shouldn't be. Unless my cousins are idiots and I need to go see them where ever they are."
"How many cousins do you have anyway?" Emily asked
"There's Uni boy, De, Sniper, Motor, Parker but he is my second cousin once removed and then Lu and K but they aren't biological cousins."
"Did you know this Jj?" Morgan asked her.
"I only know them by nicknames. She hasn't said their actual names."
"So what is with the nicknames il mio piccolo genio?"
"Uni boy is because he went to uni while my uncle and De didn't. De is just his name shortened, it was what I called him when I was growing up since I had trouble saying his name from the start. Sniper is to do with the fact he was an army ranger, motor is what I call his little brother since he always talked about wanting to own one. Parker is Snipers kid and that's his actual name so there's that. And Lu and K are my uncle Dic kids who are Lucy and Kenny."
"Kind of a big family don't you." Hotch stated making me shrug.
"Family is family. Can't pick who your blood related to but you sure as hell can decided who you love."
"How is Sniper going?" Spencer asked
"Would not know. I don't speak to him unless I have to. We haven't been on speaking terms since I was 16."
"What happened?" Penelope asked
"I wouldn't know. She wouldn't tell me about it."
"It's a family matter."
My phone began to ring making me grab it to see it wasn't the institution. I picked it up and placed it to my ear and my co workers looked on.

"Hello?"
"ITS NOT A CHUPACABRA!"
"What?"
"IT IS NOT A CHUPACABRA! I REPEAT, IT IS NOT A CHUPACABRA!"
"WHY WOULD WE THINK IT WAS A CHUPACABRA?!"

"Is everything alright Finley?" Hotch asked
"Yeah we can hear yelling?" J asked
"It's a 50/50 at the moment." I told

"Who are you talking to?!"
"I'm with people at the moment."
"Ask her dude!"
"We need to know what else drinks blood that isn't a vampire!"
"Oh. Multiple things do that. Any important details?"
"They all drowned as well I believe."
"Oh. That's a Kappa."
"A what?!"
"Uni boy is correct! What the hell is a Crapper?!"
"No it's Kappa. K A P P A. It's a turtle like yokai, they mainly live in Japan."
"Why are there so many deadly things?! What are we, Australia?!"
"That's like asking why your afraid of planes."
"THEY ARE UNNATURAL AND YOU KNOW IT!"
"I can hang up this phone and not help you."
"How do you defeat a Crapper?!"
"Again it's a Kappa. Jesus have you gone deaf from listening to your music too loud?"
"Now is not the time River!"
"Fine, you need to get it to bow."
"To bow?!" They both exclaimed.
"Yes. Once the water in it's head is no longer there, it can not move."
"You sure this will work?"
"They are obsessed with politeness. So do a deep bow but also if you fill it's bowl up with water from which is lives it will serve you for all eternity."
"You really are the best Cousin! Hopefully we will call if we don't die."
"See ya."
The phone hang up and I went back to doing what I was doing till Rossi cleared his throat.
"Do you need water papa Rossi?" I asked
"Ok we are just gonna ignore that for now. What was all that Baby?"
"Oh. My cousins do research for their job and they needed some information on things that drink blood but also drown them which wasn't information that they gave before hand."
"What was the plane deal?" Emily asked
"My older cousin has a fear of flying. It's quite common with 6.5% of Americans."
"Does he yell a lot?" J asked
"Honestly not really. I mean at least not to me."
"Will we ever meet them?" Rossi asked
"Most likely not. They travel a lot so I don't get to see them."
"Any other tidbits you'll let us know about them?"
"Sniper hates clowns and Uni boy is afraid of them."
"Weird." They all said at once minus Spencer, Hotch and Rossi.
"They are my family and I love them. Sniper is a meh at the moment."
'How weird this has become."