She Brought Light || Guy's POV

Bonus Chapter: Time To Face The Music

°V E R O N I C A ° P O V°

I'm pregnant.

Again.

For the past week and a half I've been feeling sick. There was a part of me that knew I was pregnant but I pushed that thought to the back of my head because I didn't want to believe it.

I've been pregnant before, and although it was eight years ago, I still recognize the symptoms. They might not have been as bad as they were back then, but the nausea, dizziness, headaches, and sensitive breasts are a dead give away.

I didn't tell Blake because, while a part of me knew I was pregnant, there was a bigger part of me that put it off for stress due to the fashion show Danielle asked me to take part in. The fashion show isn't really a problem, I've done them quite a few times, it's the soccer game coming up that happens to be a day after the fashion show and I still have to speak to my coach about it. Especially since we're supposed to fly out to Chicago a week before the game.

Then there's this important interview my team and I have to do and coach Sullivan has been stressing the importance of this interview so much that he managed to scare the shit out of most of us. I'm no newbie when it comes to interviews, I've had my fair share of interviews to do, but for some reason coach made this one seem more important than every other interview we've done.

This morning after Blake and the twins left, I finally convinced myself to buy the pregnancy tests. I had to dress in a way that no one would recognize me and even threw on one of Kate's wigs that I found laying in the spare bedroom she and Mason usually uses when they stay over. I always teased Kate for buying wigs to disguise herself but today I understood just how much help it actually is.

Waiting for those results felt like forever. While waiting I managed to clean the entire house and did the laundry before finally going to check. The procrastination was real, I tell you.

When the results came back positive on all three tests I took, I threw up all over again, but this time for a different reason.

With my first pregnancy I felt scared, terrified actually, but after Blake and I found out that we were pregnant with twins and the risks that would occur, we needed a few days to process everything before happiness and joy overcame all that fear. We were both genuinely happy despite us being so young.

We didn't know what would happen in the future but all we knew was that we both wanted to start a family with each other. We knew that, even though the pregnancy was an accident, we knew we didn't want that with anyone else.

So we spent the rest of the pregnancy being positive and genuinely happy about it all.

Now? Now I feel anything but happy and I hate that.

My first pregnancy scared me too much to want another baby. It ruined that dream for me because now I have so much more to lose. If anything has to happen to me during this pregnancy then my kids could grow up without a mom and that thought alone makes me sick to my stomach.

I've always wanted a big family, but now I'm too scared of what could happen.

Of course I know the reason why my first pregnancy was such a huge risk, but that experience still planted a seed of overwhelming fear in me.

How will Blake take it?

×××

I'm busy setting the dinning table when I hear the front door opening and closing again, followed by his heavy footsteps coming further into the house.

Just knowing he's home has my heart banging against my chest. I don't know why I feel so scared to tell him. Maybe it's because I have no idea what he's reaction will be or maybe it's because I'm scared he doesn't want another kid. The twins are his life but my pregnancy with them was not a memory we want to remember.