JUST FOR YOU

《64》Insecurity.

I took the stroller to Vincent's house and unfortunately for me, he had given the gateman orders not to let me in. I begged and begged him to let me in, he refused. Apparently his job was too important.

When I saw he wouldn't budge, I gave him the stroller with a message to give to Vincent. I asked him to tell Vincent that 'If he doesn't want me anymore, he should stay in the house and I'd never show my shameful self ever again. But if he loves me and wants to hear my explanation, then he should come out or at least let me in.'

The gateman went inside, came back out and shook his head saying Vincent said I should leave because he didn't want to talk to me. That stung deeply. Dealing with rejection was not my thing at all. I felt as if I had lost all hope for living.

I turned and walked away slowly, hoping he would dash out of the house anytime soon to tell me he loves me and he forgives me, but all that happened only in fairy tales.

He had every right to be angry, like I was several years ago. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be caught in such a situation. It was simply not my kind of thing. I mean why would I do such a thing when we were just starting our happily ever after. I wasn't even thinking at all, I just wanted to be settled for good.

I cried my heart out on my way home and when I got home. I was sad, depressed, I couldn't eat nor sleep. There was no one to talk to because I was so embarrassed.

Vincent ignored my calls, texts, WhatsApp messages, everything. He totally shut me out and it was no mystery whose fault that was. I had faith that Williams would throw tantrums till he saw me and that would make Vincent give in and talk to me or at least let me into his house. Lo and behold, Williams decided to be a good boy.

The next day I was at his house, no change. It felt as if I was looking for a ghost. The third, fourth, fifth day, I was at his gate pacing around, holding and quickening my breaths, yet nothing. He was really upset and I thought it was best I stayed away. So I stopped going to his house but I never stopped texting him and asking after Williams.

Even though he never replied my texts or returned my calls, I kept trying. I was desperate and was willing to do whatever it takes to make him forgive me. I was freaking miserable. I was a mess. My hair was unkempt as a result of me running my hands through it every time I realized that it was my fault this time and I should never had allowed Abbey have his way this time.

♧♧♧♧

It was approximately ten days, fourteen hours, fifty two minutes and thirty seconds after the terrible incident that my phone rang. It was Vincent.

At first I thought it was a mistake but then he called again. He probably felt I had been tortured enough. I hurriedly picked up on the second ring before he changed his mind.

"Come to the house." Was all he said, he didn't even allow me say O talk less of Ok. Those words were enough for me to drop everything I was doing to go to his house. I didn't even care if I was still in my sleeping clothes, I flew to his house.

The gate was open when I got there, he was at the door looking better than I was. I darted towards him and hugged him, fortunately for me he hugged me.

"I'm so sorry, Vincent. This wasn't revenge, it was a mistake, a very terrible one and it didn't mean anything. I promise." I cried.

"I'm still mad at you but also couldn't stand being away from you. Williams was also at his worst behaviour but I managed." He chuckled lightly.

"I'm really sorry for putting you in that kind of position. It was really....bad." I slapped my forehead. Putting myself in his shoes, it was a really terrible thing to do and I felt so ashamed of myself.