JUST FOR YOU

《21》Rehabilitation.

For that period, life was bittersweet. I didn't have any worries; money was coming in steady. In spite of what I used to console myself, life was mostly bitter because I wasn't aware of the risks I exposed myself to. Vincent neither called nor texted. I didn't either. I was expecting him to be the one to talk to me first. After I got sick of waiting, I deleted his number from my phone and our pictures. I didn't want anything to remind me of him.

For months, I was living the frivolous lifestyle. I was the life of the party; wherever there was a party, Janette was present. If I wasn't present, then that was a lame party. I knew all the happenings and bubbling spots in Lagos. From clubs to lounges to house parties to beaches. You name it, I was present. The magic word was, 'there is a party at...' and I would show up. My weekend started on Thursdays and ended on Mondays, while the rest of the week was used to recharge and do meaningless shopping.

YOLO was still my slogan.

There was no future for me, only present. I kept on telling myself you only live once. Exams were approaching; I didn't read. My course mates were discussing their final year projects and getting supervisors; I spent my days being as drunk as a skunk. In fact, I didn't know when the exams started. School stopped being my business when Vincent and I separated. The only connection I had to school was that I lived in the school's hostel.

Close to the second semester, I started noticing the side effects of being an addict. I was always having constant migraines, breathing problems, diarrhoea, and consistent stomach pains. In a short time, I developed bipolar disorder. One minute I was happy as a clam, and the next I was a sad ass. For no reason. This continued for a while until the day I fell unconscious in the hostel and was rushed to the medical centre. That was when they discovered that I was very sick and my internal organs were on the verge of failing. In the space of twenty-four hours, my parents were called to carry me out of the medical centre. It was said that I needed utmost supervision and intensive care, which the medical centre wasn't equipped for. They didn't take the news well. They were mad, but there was nothing else they could do as my health was more important. My punishment would come later when I was well enough to receive it.

I missed three semesters because I spent a year in and out of the hospital. At this point, my extra year was as glaring like a lion in a trap. I made appointments with my doctor and underwent a series of treatments and therapies. By the end of the second year, I was out of rehab on abstinence. I wasn't experiencing any of the symptoms of an alcoholic. I was sober and clean for good, with two years of my life wasted because of terrible choices.

Because I didn't write my final year exams. I automatically had an extra year. My parents didn't allow me to get an apartment outside school because my stay in the hostel had expired after four years. They didn't want me to lose guard, and I totally understood them. It was my fault I disappointed them. I was also disappointed in myself. A grown woman that I was, was going to school from home. My mum would drop me off in the morning and pick me up in the evening. That was how it was till I eventually completed my final year with my juniors and graduated with a second-class lower.

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Getting a job with second-class lower grades and two years later graduation date on your certificate on a course that wasn't in demand at all was very hard. After I did my national youth service for a year, life became very hard. I went job hunting to no avail.

I decided to do my masters in something else because I never wanted to study biochemistry or even science at all. Where the problem lay was in telling my parents about my plans. I wasn't hoping for a hug and a pat on the back as I made my way to where they were seated in the sitting room. I swallowed hard as I got into the living room; my stomach churned with nervousness. My parents wouldn't take this news lightly, but I needed to find something to do with my life. I was tired of sitting at home, staring at the world with my tiny window.