JUST FOR YOU

《21》Rehabilitation.

For that period, life was bittersweet. I didn't have any worries, money was coming in steady. In spite of what I used to console myself, life was mostly bitter because I didn't know the risks I exposed myself to.

Vincent neither called nor texted, I didn't either. I was expecting him to be the one to talk to me first. At some point, I deleted his number from my phone and our pictures. I didn't want anything to remind me of him.

For months, I was living the frivolous lifestyle. I was the life of the party, wherever there was party, Janette was present. If I wasn't present, then that was a lame party. YOLO was still my slogan.

There was no future for me only present. I kept on telling myself you only live once. Exams were approaching, I didn't read. My coursemates were discussing their final year projects and getting supervisors, I spent my days being as drunk as a skunk. In fact I didn't know when the exams started. School stopped being my business when Vincent and I separated.

Close to second semester. I started noticing the side effects of being addicted. I was always having constant migraine, breathing problems, diarrhoea, and consistent stomach pains. I developed bipolar disorder. One minute I was happy as a clam and the next I was a sad ass.

This continued for a while until the day I fell unconscious in the hostel and was rushed to the medical centre. That was when they discovered that I was very sick and my internal organs were on the verge of failing.

My parents were called to carry me out of the medical centre, since I needed utmost supervision and intensive care. They didn't take the news well. They were mad but there was nothing else they could do as my health was more important.

I missed three semesters because I spent a year in and out of the hospital. I made appointments with my doctor and underwent series of treatment and therapy. By the end of the second year, I was out of rehab on abstinence. I wasn't experiencing any of the symptoms of an alcoholic. 

I was sober and clean for good with two years of my life wasted because of terrible choices.

Because I didn't write my final year exams. I automatically had an extra year. My parents didn't allow me to get an apartment outside school cause my stay in the hostel had expired after four years. They didn't want me to loose guard and I totally understood them. It was my fault I disappointed them. I was also disappointed in myself.

I was going to school from home, my mum would drop me off in the morning and pick me up in the evening. That was how it was till I eventually repeated my final year with my juniors and graduated with a second class lower.

■■■■■

Getting a job with second class lower grades and two extra years on your certificate on a course that wasn't in demand at all was very hard. After I did my national youth service for a year, life became very hard. I went job hunting to no avail.

I decided to do my masters in something else because I never wanted to study Biochemistry or even science at all. Where the problem laid was in telling my parents about my plans.

I wasn't hoping for a hug and a pat on the back as I made my way to where they were seated in the sitting room. I swallowed hard as I got into the living room, my stomach churned with nervousness. My parents wouldn't take this news lightly but I needed to find something to do with my life. I was tired of sitting at home, staring at the world with my tiny window.

I sighed, then cleared my throat. I shouldn't be nervous, this was my life and future I was about to discuss. I felt I should be able to stand up for myself.

"Dad, mum –– " I trailed off then continued "I have something to tell you." They stopped what they were doing and focused their attention on me.

"What is it Janette?" My mum asked. My stomach churned again because of their inquisitive eyes on me.