JUST FOR YOU

《38》Here I Come!

I celebrated my 28th birthday last Saturday. I was ageing fast. The birthday wasn't extravagant, it was the opposite. Very quiet. I was home all through, in fact nobody knew that day was my birthday except my close friends. I only received calls from Ann, my mum, James and Chisom.

Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you guys. Chisom got married the previous year and I was her chief bridesmaid. She was expecting her first child already. That same year, Ann also got engaged, probably going to get married this year. And here I was a singleton or single to stupor (as Falz would say).

No guy was forthcoming, well it was partially my fault. After my experience with Alex two years ago, I lost all hope and faith in the male species. I closed my eyes, ears and heart to anyone that made a move on me. I could clearly see some guys, customers and colleagues hit on me but I shunned them and turned them down. I wasn't ready for another round of madness.

Alex had taught me a lesson. I didn't want history to repeat itself but at the same time I wanted to settle down, get married. I wanted to have a nice husband, wonderful children and a castle. In short, I missed Vincent. He was the one I wanted. He was the one I wanted to marry. He was the one I wanted to have children with. He was the one I wanted to live with in our castle. Unfortunately, I didn't even know where he was and how to get in touch with him.

I heaved a sigh and stared out of my office window. I was having tons of flashbacks in my head, especially back to that period with Alex. Another fun fact about myself was, I hardly let go of the past. Everyone that came into my life and played a significant role in it had a place in my heart. I find it hard to forget people even though we've become strangers.

Two years ago,

I left. I took my bags and left. I needed to walk, to think, to clear my head and also to look for a landlord that would allow me to pay six months' rent upfront because that was what I could afford.

I tried not to let the tears fall, but I couldn't help it. I was always treated badly. I was experiencing life in the worst way ever. I wanted to end it all, kill myself and get it over with. I wanted to get out of earth because it felt like hell.

I was so mad that day, especially at Aisha. She made me feel so dirty, so immoral. I felt like a sinner. Yes, I was sinning or I sinned but I had never felt so bad about it until Aisha made me feel that way. Someone I took as a best friend, betrayed me like that. She even had the guts to judge me when she wasn't holy. A hypocrite was what she was and that was what I saw her as. I thought of how I was going to face her in the office the next Monday. I mean everyone knew us as best friends forever. But like always, I never cared about that kind of stuff. I already told her to stay away from me. I made sure not to spare her a glance whenever we were in the office. Everyone suspected something was wrong with the both of us but who did they born well to ask me.

Then Alex, he had no respect whatsoever. He didn't feel sorry or even remorseful. He was lying even though there was evidence against him and he was guilty as charged. There was no way I could continue dating him. I couldn't deal with his lying and cheating ass. It was all too toxic and dangerous for my mental health. I couldn't even bear sleeping with him especially after I had known what I knew. I moved out of his apartment that night and I found a very kind landlady who allowed me to pay my rent monthly.

I was done. I needed space to think about my life, to think about all the decisions I ever made, to think back to where it all went wrong. Maybe I just wasn't made to fall in love or to be loved sincerely.

You must be wondering what happened to Aisha. Well, she got fired, not because of me, but she wasn't serious with her job anymore. She was always coming late, sleeping on the job and she never completed her work before leaving in the evenings. Our boss was fed up with her unseriousness and fired her three months after we had that fight. I pitied her because she had now become a jobless baby mama whose father still denied taking responsibility for the child but I never forgave her and Alex.