My Muse || READER X RAY || The Promised Neverland

📷 My Muse || Chapter Six

Before I knew it, the final orange-red leaves of Autumn's time had fallen, starting winter and along with it, a new year. Every day I continued to have those nightmares, some monster chasing me, wanting to eat me. Ray wasn't there whenever I woke up in tears.

I had barely spoken to him. He doesn't pry or seem to care that I've engrossed myself with being closer to Emma and Norman. I caught him looking at me once, when we were playing tag and he was reading underneath a tree, like he always does. When I returned his stare, he buried himself back into his book. 

"Stupid Ray... If you have something you want to say just say it..." I clenched my fists and continued to chase the other kids. 

"y/n, mhy ah yu avobin bim?" Emma asked, with her mouth full of bread. 

I laughed at her chipmunk-like face, dabbing her cheeks with a tissue. "Don't talk with your mouth full, silly, you'll choke." 

"y/n, you're so kind." She said clearly, after ingesting her meal. "I asked you why were you avoiding him." 

"Who?" I swallowed my own bite of bread. 

"Ray." 

"Gau!-" I nearly spit out of my food, Emma's question hitting me by surprise. "W-What are you talking about?" I wiped my mouth with my sleeve. I heard Mom's stern voice. "y/n! Use a tissue!" 

Emma laughed, at both mama reprimanding me and my own cluelessness. 

"I thought you liked him." 

"Why would I ever like that weird book-head lopsided bangs guy? He's so moody." 

"y/n..."

"I don't care if it's mean, Emma. He was always mean to me. Even if it was just teasing he could have been nicer to me sometimes. Or, he could just be a little more sensitive, sympathetic. We're all human. Tone it down a little bit, be nicer."

"y/n... you might..." 

"No, Emma, I'm being serious. I'm avoiding him and he doesn't even care! His birthday is in a week and I won't show up. I'll just sit in the forest or stay in the Library. I seriously hate that stupid mean idiot." I placed my spoon down, satisfied with my rant. 

"So that's what you think of me?" 

The room was dead silent, except for one strained voice behind me.  

"R-Ray...?"

I turned around, immediately making eye contact with him. His hands were clenched at his sides, but his face looked at me indifferently. That was the first time he'd showed any emotion since that day.

"I wanted to ask you if you hated me, and if you did I would've apologized. I guess... I have my answer." His usual cold gray eyes were glazed with tears as he calmly walked out of the dining room. 

He was pretending to be okay. He was pretending that he didn't care. 

I hurt him so badly. 

"Ray... I'm- I'm sorry..." I whispered quietly, so no one could hear.