My Muse || READER X RAY || The Promised Neverland

🔒 My Muse || Chapter Sixty Two

I stirred awake at about four in the morning. Ray was sitting at the foot of my bed, reading a book. He glanced me, smiling. "Good morning, princess." I blinked a couple of times, making sure I wasn't seeing things. I wanted to touch him. I crawled to his side and laid my head on his shoulder. His hair was messier than usual, telling me he had slept over. "You said we would talk." I whispered, reaching for his hand. He met me in the middle, intertwining our fingers. He chuckled, giving in. "I know I wasn't there for you when you needed me to be. I know I held you to different standards than I did to myself. I was a hypocrite." He squeezed my hand, putting the book down with his free hand. "I'm sorry, y/n. For losing my temper, for getting jealous. I'm sorry for being petty and trying to make you jealous." He sighed, pulling his hand away. "I don't deserve you." I glanced at his face. He looked so depressed, so regretful. He looked like he'd lost another friend. "Ray..." I said, wanting to tell him how I felt. "I lo-" He quickly stopped me, placing a finger over my lips. "Tell me how. Don't just say that. I want to make things right and set."

I wanted to spend every day with Ray, hugging him and kissing him and fixing this world together. I wanted to tell him that. I wanted to be his.

"So think about it? Okay?" His finger left my mouth as he stood up, patting my head. "I think we both need to think about what we want to do, and what we want to be." I gazed at his back. That broad, muscular back I'd always been chasing after. I thought I'd caught up to him. Was Ray moving on? Was he leaving me behind? Was last night just for old time's sake? Did he confuse romantic love for familial love? Did I? He turned over and kissed my forehead, making me blush. But it didn't really help me gauge what he was thinking. He looked sad. But was it pity? Or because he wanted something more?

"Family first, y/n." He scoffed, smiling, leaving my room. The door clicked softly behind him.

I flopped back into bed, staring at the empty bed across the room. I didn't know what to think anything. Ray was right though, I had to put this family first.

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"y/n. You're holding the gun wrong."

I was snapped out of my day dreaming by Yuugo's harsh comments. "Shit." I muttered, fixing my hold on the small pistol. "If you can't keep a weapon in your hand, then you can't keep your head on your neck. You too, Emma! Ray!" His hissing turned to the two next to me. "Your hands will become sore, stop complaining, Antenna. Cyclops. Don't glare at your superior like that." Ray grumbled something under his breath, almost making me giggle. I was glad that he had decided to come with us on the expedition. But it left my mind to fester with strange thoughts. We spoke like usual, but never as close or personal as before. It felt like things were going back to normal. And I slightly disliked it. At least it let me focus on what we had to do.

"This'll take about two weeks of travel." Gilda said, pointing at the pen's hologram map. Yuugo nodded, agreeing. "That's right. But I don't know if the environment changed or anything. I don't even know how to get into the damn place." Emma slammed the table with her fists, smiling. "It doesn't matter! We'll find out when we get there!" Her energetic attitude made me giggle. Ray smiled too, gazing at her fondly. Did he always look at her like that? Whatever. It's not my business. We set the journey for early April, hoping to be back by Summer start. "You four have to be careful!" Don cried, shaking my shoulders. "You're all going to come home!"