My Muse || READER X RAY || The Promised Neverland

🔒 My Muse || Chapter Forty Five

"y/n! y/n!" They called my name as my consciousness faded away. 

A loud, commanding voice snapped me out of the dark.

"Welcome to HQ. Future mothers. You will be competing against each other for a spot on each Grace Field's renowned farms." It was as if I only blinked. The room was dull gray, heavy concrete walls surrounding the jail-like building. I turned to my right, a very familiar woman standing stoically. Her violet eyes shone in the dim lights. Isabella. I wanted to scream, panic settling in every part of my body. 

Where am I? 

How did I get here? 

In the front of the room there was a stage. A large demon was speaking into a mic. His voice was slightly muffled underneath his face length mask. Next to him were two men dressed in white suits. The one on the left was smiling creepily, a power hungry grin creeping onto his lips. He looked at the crowd of women like animals. The man on the right looked disgusted. Not by us. By something else. He wanted to cry. Why? 

Suddenly, his gaze turned to me. His eyes were light gray, and his hair an incredibly soft blond. He was beautiful. When our eyes met, that sad face of his melted. I felt my face grow warm. I tried to turn to Isabella again, but my neck was frozen. I understood. This body was not mine. I recalled what Mujika had said. These are human memories.  But whos? 

The demon introduced the two men. First, James Ratri. The handsome one on his right. His voice was light, airy, comforting. He kept peeking at me, his pale cheeks turning rosy pink. "I will be managing this... farm." His voice shivered at the last word. I could tell by his furrowed brows and pitiful gaze. He didn't approve of this system. 

The younger Ratri was named Peter. He was snarky, overbearing, cruel and psychotic. I heard Isabella grunt in disgust. No one liked this second son. 

We were dismissed. Isabella and I headed towards the same door. "A-Are we room mates?" My conduit asked her. My body's voice sounded very similar to mine.

Isabella looked young. Full of life. Her purple eyes were shining with resolve. Her heart teamed with fresh, unpolluted love. I was transported to years before Isabella became a mother. "I think so. Let's be friends!" She smiled. I think Isabella and I could have been friends. 

We laid on our beds, on opposite sides of the wall. We talked about our lives on the farm, as a cattle child. "I wanted to live. Longer than anybody else." I propped myself up, looking at her curiously. "What do you mean?" Isabella's eyes sharpened, giving the ceiling a cold glare. "The adopted children are dead. They've been sold as food, Josephine." Was that my name? Was I just now learning that we were cattle children? I had so many questions. I fell back onto my bed, sighing. "I've always had a feeling. I just didn't like to think about it." Isabella laughed. "Me too." 

Someone knocked on our door. 

I stood up, slowly turning the metal knob. My eyes widened at the smiling son of the Ratri family. "Master Ratri!" I exclaimed, immediately dropping into a bow. He was even more handsome up close, something inside me said. His bangs were short, brushing just past his eyebrows. His grin was so warm and innocent and he looked at me with these adoring puppy eyes. "A-Are you Josephine? That's your name, right?" My face was warm, my feet brushing against each other. "You- You're not addressing me with my number?" My left hand brushed against my neck, where the numbers should have been. "Y-You're not a number. You're a human being." He replied. Though his voice trembled, he was sincere. "Thank you, Master Ratri." He held out his hand. "Please, call me James." 

I blinked. I was on a thin mattress, my legs being held open. There was an incredible pain in my lower abdomen. My screams echoed in the building's cold infirmary. Shit, am I pregnant? Is this what's happening? I continued to scream, clutching onto the freezing metal bars by my side. My thoughts were soon confirmed by the soft crying of a newborn baby. Two nurses were at my side, numbers also tattooed onto their necks. They wrapped the baby up in a blanket, placing it in my arms. "It's a girl." One of them said. I took the child in my arms, its sobbing immediately ceasing. My heart was burning with love and affection. I loved this baby so much. When the nurses left, I whispered something to child. "Your cute little puppy eyes look just like your father's." 

A father? A human father? Cattle children didn't have human fathers. 

It was all written in Isabella's pocketbook. Cattle mothers were impregnated through artificial insemination. Who was this child's father? 

I blinked again. The cold infirmary became a snow white forest. I was holding the baby, running swiftly in between giant blue trees. A man was by my side. His blond hair and gray eyes were familiar. James Ratri. They both gasped for air, in the freezing winter night. The thudding hooves of a pack of horses was close behind us. "The hunters are getting closer!" James Ratri hissed. "I don't think we're going to make it." I said, tears starting to wet my eyes. "We can!" He swore underneath his breath. "We have to!" A large root protruded from the ground. It was too late to jump. I stumbled downwards, clutching the baby in my arms. "Josephine!" He screamed, skidding to a stop. At my feet was a golden necklace, hidden well underneath the dirt. It was so cold. My hands were trembling as I dug through the dirt. I started to sob, crying to the sky. "If there was any God left, you'd save us!" 

I didn't blink but yet again, the world around me changed. I was sitting over a sheet of water, yet my dress didn't get wet. I looked at my reflection, my voice wanting to scream. I was in a mother's outfit. A black dress and white apron, collar so high it blocked my numbers. The baby was still in my arms. I whipped around the scenery, noticing two beings floating above the lake. One was a small childlike creature, staring at us amusedly. The other was dragon, not caring of our existences. I struggled to my feet, walking to the two. 

"What saving do you need so desperately that you'd call for God?" The smaller being asked. It seemed it already knew what I wanted.

"I'll give you anything. She has to live. She has to change the world. I can't. She has to do it for me. For them."

"Even your soul ?"

"If that's the price." 

"I can't guarantee that she'll do anything. I can only gift her the chance to become what you want her to be."

"Do you think she can do it? For all of us cattle children? "

"I don't know. But the feeling that I find people forget most often... Is love. She'll have to remember that if she wants to change this world."

"y/n. Never forget love. Mama loves you. Papa loves you. And everyone you meet will love you too."

For the first time, I looked at the baby straight in the eyes. Her hair was the same color as mine. So were her eyes. Her laugh rang throughout the strange, different realm. Her number. 70293. The necklace, which the being placed around my neck, started to glow, making the baby laugh even louder. I trembled in the realization.

Suddenly, the being spoke to me. Not to Josephine. To me, in her body.

"Try not to forget, y/n. Your mother's soul and countless others depend on it."

I was the child of the traitor James Ratri and the cattle Josephine.