My Muse || READER X RAY || The Promised Neverland

📷 My Muse || Chapter Seven

"I- I... No... Ray.." Fragments of words stumbled out of my mouth. I was too shocked to form any real sentences. I didn't mean it. I didn't hate Ray. But now he thinks that I do.

"y/n..." Emma tugged my sleeve, bread crumbs littering her face. "Go after him."

Wet tears of regret and determination fell down my face as Emma tightly grasped my hand. "T-Thank you." I sniffled out, running out of the dining room.

"Ray!" I yelled after him. His trembling body turned a corner, ignoring my cries. His face was shadowed. He was in pain. And it was my fault. "Ray, wait!" "Holy shit, how does he walk so fast?" I thought, trying to run a little bit faster. I had finally turned the corner, huffing and puffing. "R-Ray... I- I didn't... whew..." I leaned on the wall trying to catch my breath.

Ray was gone.

I searched the hallways frantically. He wasn't in the bedrooms. Or the kitchen. He wasn't in the forest or sitting by the tree he always sits by. Where could he have gone?

Wait- I might know.

I tip-toed my way into the corner of the library where Ray had shown me the door. His secret place. If there was a place he would hide, it would be here.

"Ray... I'm so sorry..." I whispered, resting my head on the wall.

I placed on my hands on a peculiarly bare place between the shelves and heard the soft echoes of swirling winds. Ray must have opened the windows. I pushed lightly, as to not make any noise and the door creaked open. "Jackpot!" I thought. I walked into the familiar square room and traced the wooden ladder. It was still warm. Ray must've stood here and thought about what I said for a while.

I closed the door behind me and made my way up to the room. As I thought, Ray was leaning by the window staring at the sky. It was a beautiful day. The sky was bright blue without a single cloud to spoil it. I wanted to say something, or to at least climb the final rung and sit by him.

But I couldn't.

My body was frozen.

I watched silently as Ray brushed back his bangs, rubbing his eyes. Was he still crying? His voice cracked as he started to hum Mama's song.

"Ray..." I finally stuttered out, still frozen on the last step.

"Who?!- Oh..." He wiped his eyes a little roughly. He was trying to look like he wasn't crying. "What d-do you w-want?" He turned away from me, looking back at the sky.

"To apologize. I want to apologize, Ray."

"For what?" He replied, his back still to me.

I finally brought myself to step into the room. "For saying those things." I crawled behind him, placing my head on his back. He was so warm. "I didn't mean it." His stiff body relaxed a bit and his trembling seemed to settle.

"What didn't you mean?" He asked. He turned towards me, so we were face to face. "How do you feel about me?" He was centimeters away from me, those usual cold gray eyes were warm and soft, looking straight at me. I felt his warm breath on my lips.

"Ray..." I said softly.

"Please. Explain." His hands found their way to my cheeks, cupping my face warmly. "I don't know what I'd do if you don't."

"I don't hate you." I could feel my face turn tomato red. I didn't hate that either. I placed my hands around his cheeks, looking straight back. I want to turn him the same color.

"I don't know why I was avoiding you. I think I was upset because you... were always... mean to me?" He diverted his gaze. "Even if it was teasing. Even if what you said was true. It hurt my feelings. Because... I thought we were close?"

"We are." Ray said. "I mean, look at us now." I blushed profusely, noticing where I was. I was practically sitting on Ray's lap, his hands on my cheeks and mine around his. "A-ah..." I stuttered. Taking my hands off his face.

"No." Ray suddenly pulled me into a hug. His arms were around my waist, his head nestled in my neck. "Can we stay like this a little longer?..."

"Okay." I replied, getting comfortable in his embrace.

"I'm sorry for saying those things to you, that day Don challenged Norman to tag. I wanted to push you away." His voice was muffled in my shoulder.

"Why?" I asked, genuinely confused. He chuckled painfully, as if recalling the memory was embarrassing and painful. "I was jealous. That you get along so well with everyone. With Emma, the kids, especially Norman." I blushed, feeling his warm breath on my collarbone. "J-Jealous?" He pulled back, flicking me softly on the forehead. "What, do you need the definition o-or something?" A smile crept onto my face. His expression was so cute. "Ray, you're always my favorite person to spend time with." 

"W-Why?" 

"I don't know... I just like being with you a lot." 

He chuckled softly and warmly, making my heart race even faster than it already was. "I like you too, y/n."