The Other Side of Dominance (BxB) ✔

Chapter 53 [Memories]

A/n: Sorry this took so long, just dealing with something but trying my best to earn back the motivation. Hope you'll like this one :)

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It all dawned on me. Kung paano ko isa-isang napagtanto ang mga bagay na dapat kong malaman. How come I didn't realize this sooner? That he is the freaking governor? Siguro ay masyado akong nabulag sa nararamdaman kong galit sa kanya. No, anger won't be the right word but indifference, that's what I feel towards him now.

Naging lutang ako sa mga sumunod na minuto habang nakikipag-areglo si Blade sa matandang lalaki. It was happening in a slow motion, or maybe my mind wasn't functioning properly that was why everything seemed slower and duller. Hindi niya ako binigyan ng konkretong sagot mula sa aking katanungan bilang kompirmasyon kung siya nga ang kasalukuyang gobernador ng lalawigan. Or he probably didn't intend to so I won't put myself to shame for being so dumb.

"Is everything okay here?" that was Carson behind me. Sumunod siya matapos ang matagal niyang paghihintay sa loob ng restaurant. Naramdaman ko ang bahagyang paglapat ng kanyang kamay sa aking likuran, ngunit ang mga mata niya ay nakatuon sa dalawang lalaki sa aming harapan.

I was so ashamed of myself. Lalo na nang maalala ko ang attitude na ipinakita ko kahapon sa kapitolyo. I had no idea that he was the "governor" I was looking for so I totally looked like a fool in front of him and that secretary. Gusto ko na lamang maglaho na parang bula o di kaya'y lamunin ng lupa dahil parang hindi ko na siya kayang harapin pagkatapos ng aking realisasyon.

Sa huli ay nagkasundo si Blade at ang matanda. Tutal ay attended naman daw ang aking sasakyan dahil sa pagpapakita ko, hindi na itinuloy ang pagtow at pinatawan na lamang ako ng ticket para sa traffic violation.

Sumakay na pabalik ang matandang lalaki sa tow truck at saka ito umalis hanggang sa maiwan ako sa dalawang lalaki. Carson's hand was still on my back and when Blade faced my direction, his eyes swiftly peeked at the arm holding me and then stared back at me. Tinitigan niya ako na parang naghihintay ng aking sasabihin. Hindi ko siya kayang titigan nang matagal dahil kusang bumababa ang mga mata ko sa suot niyang kwintas. I'm pretty confident that it was the silver bar necklace I lost the night he ended our relationship. Pero ang hindi ko lubos na maintindihan ay kung bakit niya.... bakit niya kailangang isuot iyon? Sa anong rason?

"It's all good now, Harper. Mabuti at na-tiketan ka lang at hindi na tinow ang sasakyan." that was Carson's reassuring voice so close to my left ear. Kada lalapit ng ilang pulgada ang mukha ni Carson sa akin ay nahuhuli ko ang pagkunot ng noo ni Blade na nakamasid pa rin saming dalawa.

I told myself countless times that the last conversation I'm going to have with him was at the capitol but today can't be helped. At gaano man kalaki ang kasalanang nagawa niya sakin, hindi man maganda ang estado naming dalawa, I know I have to thank him right now for helping. Though I didn't ask for any of it.

Still, Blade's sharp eyes lingered on Carson's arm on me but he looked at me when I opened my mouth to finally say something.

"S-Salamat." mahina kong bigkas pero sapat na para marinig niya. For a moment, he was staring at my lips but eventually moved his eyes upward and gave me a nod.

I still have this sick feeling inside me kahit na nakabalik na kami ni Carson sa loob ng restaurant. I was all smiles while we were both eating though behind the smile were confusion and discomfort and embarrassment and shame and anxiety and frustration and exasperation and many more dee-seated emotions that I haven't felt all at the same time.

Damn, all at the same time. Iisang tao lang ang nakakapagparamdam sakin ng ganito.

I realized that I have been feeling this way whenever I see him, my ex-boyfriend that is now the freaking governor. And I shouldn't be like this. Alam kong marupok ako pagdating sa kanya pero hindi naman makatarungan na lagi nalang akong ganoon. Yes, I chased him and wanted him so I did everything to get him. But I know better now. Everything has changed. I focused so hard on what I wanted that I lost sight of what I deserved.