The Other Side of Dominance (BxB) ✔

Chapter 67 [Occasion]

It's funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn't live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn't even know we wanted. Life keeps on leading us on journeys we would never go on if it were up to us. So we don't have to be afraid, we just need to have more faith and find the lessons.

And then it happens. One day you wake up and you're in this place. You're in this place where everything feels right. Your heart is calm. Your soul is lit. Your thoughts are positive. Your vision is clear. You're at peace, at peace with where you've been, at peace with what you've been through and at peace with where you're headed.

The silky fabrics of the white comforter has been keeping me from the cold but something else is giving me warmth. Nang magmulat ako ng mga mata ay mukha agad ng taong iniibig ko ang aking unang nasilayan. He's lying on his abdomen but one of his arms is caging me, he sleeps so soundly and no matter how rough he always looked, right in this moment he looked like an angel. An angel with a tough appearance but hiding inside him is a soft heart.

Malaya kong hinaplos ang kanyang maikling buhok, nag-iingat na hindi siya magising. Matapos ang hindi namin pagkakaunawaan kagabi, pareho kaming nawalan ng kontrol sa aming mga sarili at nauwi na lamang kami sa isang mainit at rumaragasang pagtatalik.

I lost count of how many times we have hurt each other and yet here we are lying on the same bed, sharing the same scent under the rays of the morning sun. Ang sinag ng araw na nakatakas mula sa bintana ay tumatama sa kanyang mukha. I tried to cover the rays with my hand but that only made me closer to him. My heart skipped a beat when he moved a bit.

Ilang segundo ang pinalipas ko, hinihintay kung magigising ba siya o mananatiling tulog.  Napagmasdan ko ang mga pilikmata niyang katamtaman ang haba at kurba, nainggit ako nang makita iyon. How come he's more beautiful than me?

Habang iniisip ko ang bagay na iyon ay napatili ako nang bahagya siyang bumangon at dinaganan ako. Masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari. Nagtataka akong nakakahinga pa rin ako gayong natatabunan ako ng buong katawan niya.

"Let's stay in bed all day..." he murmured in his throaty bedroom voice as he rained gentle kisses on my chest and neck.

We're still both naked and the only thing that's keeping us covered is the white comforter. Ang dibdib niya ay nakapatong sa aking dibdib, nang iangat niya iyon gamit ang pagtukod ng kanyang dalawang kamay sa aking magkabilang gilid ay nakabawi ako ng hangin.

"Parehas pa tayong may trabaho, Blade. We can't stay here all day, you know that." tugon ko, tamad siyang nakatitig sa akin na parang walang balak na maging productive ngayong araw.

"I can make it happen. Isang araw ka lang namang mawawala sa clinic, I'm sure they can handle themselves." pangangatwiran niya. Habang tumatagal siyang nasa ganoong posisyon ay mas nagiging visible ang linya ng mga ugat sa braso niya. Nagbara ang aking lalamunan at napalunok ako nang sunud-sunod.

"I have to go, Blade. We can't stay here."

Nakaka-engganyo man ang balak niyang mangyari ngunit habang tumatagal ay mas natututunan ko kung paano magpigil. If I would always give in to him, I'm afraid he's gonna leave me again. I want to put my trust on him but I want to learn how to be okay even when he's not around. I shouldn't depend on him or on this love. Gaano man niya ako kamahal, kailangan kong matutunan kung paano maging okay kahit wala siya.

At this point in my life that I'm practicing independence, I should be able to endure whatever comes my way. I want him and I love him, but I don't need him. I'm complete with or without him.

"Alright."

Umalis siya sa aking ibabaw at pinalaya ako. We were inside the bedroom of my condo unit since he insisted to see our little baby brother last night. Blade was so happy to meet him and watching them together feels right, like Baby Olli is finally home.