The Other Side of Dominance (BxB) ✔

Chapter 32 [Submissive]

Forewarning: Please read at your own risk!

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I don't understand why love terrifies me. Or maybe not. Maybe the intimacy is what I'm afraid of. Being intimate to someone, being commited to someone, it doesn't only take courage, but it takes a whole different level of trust. Trusting yourself enough to fall. Trusting somebody with your vulnerable heart. And trusting they won't break it.

But what I wasn't aware of is that love is a battlefield of possibilities, of chances, and of endless what ifs. I have to accept that love itself has its flaws. That love is not perfect. That it isn't just ups, but has its downs.

Wala namang nagsabing magiging madali ang lahat pagdating sa pag-ibig. Like I said, it's a battlefield, it's a risk. Lucky those people who tasted victory, but shame to those who lost and cried in defeat. But it all doesn't matter. What matters is you tried... and you gave yourself a chance that somehow you could have won.

I started to believe in all of it. Even if I know it could hurt me in the process but still I want to try.

I don't give up easily. I fight for what I want. It takes a lot for me to actually give up on something or someone. I can't just throw away all the hard work and time I put into it. I can't just give up because times are hard, especially if that person means so much to me. I keep fighting for what I want until I can't fight anymore... until giving up is the only option I have left.

"Where do you think you're going?" I bit my lip when I heard his hoarse voice.

Balak ko sanang bumangon mula sa kama pero sa mumunting galaw ko ay nagising ko yata siya. Umakyat ang tingin ko sa wall clock sa itaas ng pader, nalaman kong alas tres palang ng madaling araw.

Lumingon ako sa kanya. Hinanap ko ang mga mata niya sa dilim, tanging ang malamlam na liwanag mula sa night lamp ang nagsilbing tanglaw namin.

"Bathroom lang sana.." maingat kong bulong.

Natatakpan ng makapal na comforter ang kalahati ng kanyang katawan. I couldn't see clearly through the dark but I know he moved when I felt his warm hand on my waist. Bahagya siyang bumangon at saka isiniksik ang kanyang mukha sa aking leeg.

"No escaping, please..." aniya sa nanghihinang boses.

Chills ran down my spine, making it harder for me to breathe. Milagro na siguro ngayong nakakakilos pa ako ng normal. He just placed his face on my neck, eyes closed and shallowly breathing.

"No escaping." I muttered, giving him assurance that it won't happen now that he has all the rights because... he's my boyfriend.

Saglit niyang iminulat ang isang mata upang silipin ako. Softly, I pinched the tip of his nose, couldn't help because he's too adorable right now.

"Hmmmkay...."

Hindi ko pa rin lubos maisip na bumigay na rin ako at naisuko ko na ang dapat na isuko. He went back to his position on the bed and closed his eyes to probably get back to sleep.

I cursed silently after I finally stood up but almost winced in extreme pain. I didn't expect in my whole life that I could be sore like hell. He's just one person pero para akong nagahasa ng sampung lalaki, that's how it feels.

Nakarating ako sa bathroom pagkatapos ng limang minutong paglalakad ng mabagal at paika-ika. I turned on the lights and immediately saw my reflection on the mirror. Napaawang ang bibig ko nang maaninag ang mga pulang marka sa aking balat. These are not just hickeys... but marks of what happened last night.

I still can't believe what I'm seeing. Para akong nadiligan sa matagal na pagkakatuyot. I feel renewed. I feel reborn. I feel like Harper Garcillano version 2.0, or Harper Garcillano version 10.0 para sagad na ang kagandahan ko.