The Victorious [BxBxB] ✓

A Sort Of Confession

None of them wanted to sleep. It was their last night at Oliver's before they had to return to school. James thought about his ignored homework and decided he should stop slacking so much. He still wanted to get into college, and his grades had been good till now.

Victor lay on his back with Freckle on his chest while Ollie was playing on his phone. James' decision to confess to Victor now felt like a brick in his stomach.

"I have a headache," he lied, getting up from the floor. "I'll go out for a bit, ok?"

Ollie looked away from his phone and nodded. Victor was too enamored with Freckle to hear him.

James walked outside and sat next to the pool, in the same spot he had found Victor.

It was late, the sky was starless, and the air was cold. He could hear the crickets. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wanted to slide into the water and float around.

"Fancy finding you here," Sebastian said, from behind him. James turned his head.

"Oh, yeah... I had a headache."

Sebastian sat next to him. "Are you ready to go back to the campus tomorrow?"

"Honestly?" James asked. Sebastian nodded. "No, not really."

"Why is that?"

James sighed and watched his breath turn into mist. He wasn't sure why himself.

"I don't know. I think it's because going back feels like waking up from a dream. Does that make sense? It's where responsibilities are."

"That makes sense," Sebastian said. "Is there anything in particular that worries you?"

James considered his question. Something in particular? There were a lot of things that worried him but nothing as much as Victor and his parents.

"I don't know. I just want to be able to live my life without feeling like I disappoint people," he said. He thought about his mother. He thought about how his parents' ultimatum crushed him.

James never talked about how he felt about his parents. Not honestly, at least. He had brushed over the subject, calling them names, ignoring their calls, complaining to Oliver.

But he loved them.

And they didn't love him.

James pressed the back of his palms over his eyes for a few seconds. There was no way he was crying.

"You're not," Sebastian said, and his tone was firm, kind, and it hurt salt over a wound. "You're a good kid, James. I don't think you realize how many parents would kill to have a kid like you."

James laughed bitterly. "Yeah, no, not when you have the perfect golden boy as competition."

"Your brother?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah, it's always been him, you know. My grades were never as good as his. My friends were never as good as his; my attitude was never as good as his. Now he's married and has this perfect life, and I'm the black sheep of the family."

"And those are his achievements. What about yours? What are some of your best qualities?"

"I don't know," James shrugged.

"Why don't you try?"

"Really, I don't know. Whatever it is, he's probably better at it anyway."

"Ok, can I give it a go then?" Sebastian asked. "I don't know you so well, but I feel like I have a general impression. Ollie likes to talk."

James' ears were burning, but he nodded.

"Let's see; I think you're brave. I think you're someone who will fight for the people you love. I think you're genuine and reliable and trustworthy. I think you're supportive. I think you'll put others' needs above yours and that's not always healthy, but I can sure admire that. And I love your style, it's great."

James dragged the tips of his fingers over his eyes. "That's uhm... quite the list".

Sebastian chuckled and patted him on his shoulder. "It's kind of short, I think. I'm sure I'll add more to it once I get to know you better."

"Thanks." James was at a loss for words.

"It's obvious that you care a lot about Victor, and that you love Oliver. They're both fortunate to have you."

"Shouldn't you say that I'm lucky to have Ollie? Isn't that how the speech goes?"

Sebastian smiled and shrugged. "Ollie's my biggest joy. I love him to bits, and I want him to date only the best."

"I- thanks. Thank you."

"You're a great kid," Sebastian said. "Actually, no, I should stop calling you a kid. You're a man. You're a great man, James. Stop comparing yourself with your brother."

"I- I don't know what to say."

James didn't want to tear up again, yet he could barely hold back. He leaned his head into his palms and tried breathing in slowly. Crying in front of someone felt taboo.

Sebastian pressed his hand between his shoulder blades. He wished he had a dad like this, understanding, loving, and willing to talk to him. He would have even been happy with less; acceptance didn't seem like such a big thing to ask for.

"You don't have to say anything right now, but you can talk to me anytime if you feel like it. You're part of the family now."

James started crying. 

Author's note<3: 

Get ready for updates for the rest of the week! 🎉

James deserves a bit of attention every now and then, right? And family can be tough! He deserves a hug. Send hugs to Jamie, please and thank you! Words of encouragement are welcomed!What's your favorite thing about James? Do you like him? Is Sebastian right about him?