The Victorious [BxBxB] ✓

Searching For Distractions

A few hours later, Robert arrived. He took James and Ollie out to grab something to eat and they talked. James told the same story at least twice, trying to clear his head and make sense of what was happening. Even if there wasn't anything Robert could do to help, him listening made James feel more at ease. It's going to be ok, that's what Robert kept reinforcing, and James wanted to believe him. It was reassuring to be the one hearing it for once.

It's going to be ok.

Once they returned to the dorm, James texted Victor asking him how he was holding up. It took him about twenty minutes to respond. The message was short. It's boring. I'll be back tomorrow evening.

"He'll be back tomorrow evening." James frowned at his phone. "Why evening? Why?"

Oliver had somehow managed to convince Robert to let him sit on his shoulders. He was still there, touching the ceiling with his palms.

"I don't know," Ollie said. "Maybe it's more complicated than we expected."

Robert sighed. "Don't panic. I'm sure it's fine. There are a lot of professionals involved in this. It's their job to make sure Mason goes to jail and loses all his assets."

"Yeah," James said, taking a seat. "I feel like I should be doing more, but I can't."

"Look, dude," Robert started, "there's nothing more you can do. It's not your job to prosecute a criminal. Be a good boyfriend and offer emotional support. That's all you can do. And don't be pushy."

"I'm not pushy," James said.

"You're pushy." Robert nodded.

James turned his attention towards Ollie, who shrugged. "Yeah, you can be pushy." Ollie moved his hands from the ceiling on Robert's head. "Tell Victor I said hi and that I love him. And that I miss him!"

He sent the text and waited for a reply. It came late, of course. I miss you both. James' heart skipped a beat. Victor wasn't the affectionate kind; he rarely said I love you, and each time it happened, it made James feel like he's about to have a heart attack.

Robert had to leave before it got dark outside, leaving James and Oliver to fend for themselves. James went to the cafeteria and got food. They ate on the floor while watching weird reality shows that Ollie picked. James didn't get the appeal initially, but he got sucked into it once he started forming strong opinions about what was happening. He even ended up butting heads with Ollie. His instinct was to turn towards Victor's bed and ask him to break the tie. But Victor wasn't there.

At around midnight, they went to bed. Ollie cuddled next to him and fell asleep, but both of them kept waking up throughout the night. The next day was hard, too, their classes uneventful, and James was mildly insulted by how normal everyone was acting. Like had a way of making your problems seem monumental and unimportant at the same time.

James returned to his room at the end of the day and sat around, anxious. Ollie decided to go to the library to finish his essays without distractions. Victor arrived at around eight. He dragged himself in the room, kicked one of his shoes off, walked a few more steps, dropped on his bed face down, and finally, took off the other one. He groaned.

James sat down next to him and touched his back. "Hey."

"Hi," Victor answered, his face buried in his pillow. "Don't ask." He rolled on his back. "God, I hate people. Do you know how many papers we had to sign? I hate this."

James nodded and leaned down to kiss him. He understood that sometimes people need to vent, and they aren't searching for solutions.

Victor wrapped his arms around him and kissed him back. And then he kissed him deeper. James felt his bones turning to jelly; he felt his blood run hot. His heart was beating fast. Then he felt Victor's cold hands moving up his shirt, and his brain stopped working.

Victor pulled him on the bed and got on top of him. They kissed again. James couldn't focus, couldn't form a coherent thought but he had a weird feeling.

"Wait," he said, placing his hands on Victor's shoulders.

Victor pulled away instantly and looked down at him, frowning and confused. "What's wrong?" James could see the worry on his face.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong. I think this isn't the right time," James muttered. He was amazed by the words he was saying and by what he was doing. He had been yearning for Victor so much that it made him stupid, and now he was saying no.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Victor rolled off, walked to the closet, and took out the Pikachu hoodie. "I'll go take a shower."

James was expecting him to ask why or to want some explanation. Victor didn't.

"I'm sorry," James said.

A second later, Victor turned towards him. "Why? You don't have to apologize." Victor's calmness, his soft way of speaking accentuated James' guilt. 

"It's not because I don't want to," James pushed himself into a sitting position. "It's just that, I - ugm..." He had to offer an explanation even if Victor didn't want one.

Victor approached him and touched his knee. "Listen, it's ok, it's fine, we don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Another time, maybe."

James nodded. He wanted to kiss Victor and hold him, but he didn't want their first time to be influenced by bad feelings, by stress, by the need to run from everything. He didn't want their first time to be a simple distraction.

"Don't look so sad," Victor said, still holding his hand on James's leg.

"I'm not sad." James smiled. He didn't want Victor to comfort him or to mend his non-existing wounds. It made him feel selfish. "I'll go grab Ollie, and we can have dinner together."

"Please, bring real food." 

James nodded and watched Victor walk into the bathroom.

Author's note<3:

James rejected Victor??? Is the world ending? What's next? Ollie will say no to gummies?