moon [k.nj + k.sj]

22. XXII

(Warning: Mature Language)

Namjoon's point of view:

Jimin and Taehyung went to the living room and sat down watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S "The one where no one's ready" as Jin stayed to wash the dishes, with me with him. 

"So you wanted to talk about something?" He asked placing the dish in the dish stand.

"Yeah..." I was scared, scared to my bones, my heart was beating fast against my chest as I gulped. "Well, it's something important actually..." I managed out finally.

"I'm listening go ahead, why do you seem so scared? You're sweating." He said as he placed his handkerchief on my cheek.

"Okay, firstly, I'll apologize for not bringing this up earlier..." 

A look of concern came on his face which he replaced with a nervous smile, "What...is it?" 

I let out a deep sigh, "Okay so...well...I don't know how to tell this...ugh, okay so there is this album release coming up right?" I asked.

He nodded, "Right." 

"And that is followed by...a tour...concert tour..." I hid my face, "It's the tour list which is like, there's a list of places where the concert is supposed to be and stuff..." I blurted out.

Jin fell silent for a while, he didn't flinch or move, he just looked down and stayed there for a while, as in processing everything I just said and putting everything in place. He sighed out after a while, which seemed, a very fucking long pause, before he finally said out, "How long is it?"

"Ten months." 

"How much time do we have?" he asked in the same emotionless voice.

"Seven weeks."

He nodded. 

"So why were you so afraid to tell me this?" he asked kind of relaxing.

I guessed maintaining a bit of distance would be the best now, "Well, you know, we are together...in a relationship now, and...err...well after the seven weeks, how things will work out for us. I'll be gone for ten months, around different cities and countries...I need to talk to you about it right?"

"It's your job, your passion Namjoon, I would never stop you from it." He said somehow in the contradictory combination of dryness and compassion.

"I know you won't Jinnie...do you maybe need time to think about it?"

"What's there to think Namjoon, we have seven weeks right? I want to make the most out of the little time we have."

Little time we have...?

I stayed silent and let him continue, "If I can have you for this while, I want to have the whole of you Namjoon. But I don't want to keep you tied in chains when you go out." I came closer, as I relaxed feeling the tension decreasing, "Things don't work out in a long distance relationship, and it gets fucked up. You are going to be away for ten months, that's not a short period of time, and we can try, but the chances of making it work is 50/50, and I can't risk you out of all the things I have." 

He cupped my face, "Let's not fall in love."

"Let's not complicate things between us. But let me have you for seven weeks will you?"

He said these words looking into my soul, but little did he know I wanted to try us, little did he know I wanted to take the risk of the 50/50, little did he know I wanted to say that let's take, let's make it work out, little  did he know I  wanted us, I  wanted him to keep me tied in his chains, little did he know,

I was already in love with him.

But still I replied with, "Let's have each other for our little forever."