Dick Grayson one shots

Wisdom teeth

"Hello, is this Jay Peters?" a woman on the other end of the phone asked.

"Yes, who is this?" Jason answered after a moment, still not quite used to his fake name.

"This is Sammie from Blüdhaven dental. We have a patient here... a mister Richard Grayson. He just had his wisdom teeth removed, and he isn't able to drive himself home. You were his emergency contact, and we were wondering if you would be able to pick him up," the woman said.

"Uh... sure," Jason replied.

"Thank you. He is just waking up from anesthesia right now, and he'll be ready for you to pick him up whenever you can get here," the woman said, ending the phone call.

—

Dick was asleep again when Jason finally got the dental office, lying peacefully in a wheelchair with a blanket covering his legs and his puffy cheeks stuffed with gauze.

Jason couldn't help the amused smile that made its way onto his face when he saw the acrobat. He definitely wouldn't be fighting crime for a few days.

A trail of drool was dripping down Dick's chin, and Jason gently wiped it away before he lifted him out of the chair and strapped him into his car's passenger seat.

—

Jason was about halfway to Dick's apartment when he realized that there was nobody else there who could watch Dick, so even if he dropped him off, he'd still be no better off than before.

Heaving a long sigh, he made a turn towards his own apartment.

—

Jason gently set Dick on his bed, bringing the covers up around him before settling down in a chair with a book to wait for his brother to wake.

—

Jason didn't have to wait long for Dick to wake up. He was barely a chapter in to his book when he heard a whimper and some rustling coming from his bed.

"Dickie?" Jason called, standing up and moving to the side of his bed.

"Yasown?" Dick called, his cheeks still stuffed full of bloody gauze.

Which, of course, was the first thing Dick decided to mess with. One cheek deflated slightly as he pulled the long piece of gauze out, dropping it onto the bedsheets before pulling the second one out.

"Jay?" Dick called again, looking around the room until he saw the taller man.

Tears were starting to form in Dick's eyes. "Th-they stole them!" he sobbed.

Jason stepped closer to Dick's side, putting a comforting arm around him. "What did they steal?" he asked gently.

"All m-my teeth," Dick replied, sticking a finger in his mouth and moving it towards his stitches.

"Hey! Don't do that Dickie," Jason said, bringing Dick's arm back down and away from his mouth. "Your teeth are still there."

"Then why's my mouth all bloody and swollen?" Dick asked, letting Jason help him out of the bed and into the living room.

"Uh..." Jason hesitated. "They had to take out some bad teeth."

"No, my teeth are my friends..." Dick whined. "They're not bad."

"Well there were a few that needed to be taken out... you even signed a permission form," Jason said, quickly walking into the other room and grabbing the top paper from the small stack he'd been given.

Dick took the paper and put it right up to his face. "I didn't sign this," he said. "They faked my signature and stole all my teeth! They're gunna sell them to the tooth fairy for a million bucks!"

Jason sighed. What did he do to deserve this?

"Jas!" Dick shouted, grabbing Jason's face with both of his hands and pulling Jason towards him. "They were tryin' ta take all my squishy guts too... see!" He jumped off of the couch and lifted his shirt, showing his torso that was littered with all sorts of scars.

"Dickie, stop," Jason said with a sigh, lowering Dick's shirt. "They're doctors ok. They knew what they were doing... and they didn't steal any of your organs."

Dick's eyes narrowed, before his focus turned to the floor just behind Jason. "That's a weird lookin' potato," he mumbled.

Jason turned and looked, seeing a simple pair of brown socks folded together. He sighed, helping Dick to sit back down. 'This is going to be a long day.'

—

Jason's head snapped up when he heard singing coming from the couch where he'd left Dick sitting after he'd finally gotten new gauze in his mouth.

"We'w no stwangews to woooove... you know da wules a' so do IIIII!" Dick sang drunkenly.

'Is he seriously Rickrolling me right now?' Jason wondered, walking over to the couch.

"Neva gonna give you uuuuup..." Dick trailed off for a moment when he saw Jason. "Yasown!" he called, flapping his hand.

Jason raised an eyebrow. "Could you be quiet?" he asked.

"But Yasown, da babies wike it..." Dick whined, gesturing at Jason's houseplants.

"Fine," Jason said with a huff. "But keep it down ok. I don't want to have to listen to your singing until Alfred gets here."

"Alfwed?" Dick asked.

"Yes Dick. Alfred is coming to get you so that I won't have to continue babysitting you."

Jason's phone buzzed and he glanced at it, seeing a notification that a package was left on the main floor of the apartment building for him to pick up.

"I have to go get a package Dick," Jason said. "Don't do anything while I'm gone... got it?" He glared threateningly at him until the older nodded. "Good."

—

When Jason walked back in to his apartment he heard music playing from what sounded like the room he'd left Dick in. He let out an annoyed sigh and walked into his living room.

Jason's brows furrowed in confusion when he saw Dick doing the Macarena to what sounded like the USSR national anthem. "What on Earth are you doing?" he asked, 100% sure that this was the weirdest thing he'd seen all week.

"I'm being patriotic," he said, continuing the Macarena.

"You do know that this music is from the USSR... and we live in America..." Jason said slowly, noticing the two pieces of bloody gauze that were laying on the floor.

"Well if there was a beat drop in our national anthem maybe things would be different," Dick replied.

Jason left the room with a huff, completely fine letting Dick tire himself out.

—

Alfred arrived just as Dick finally settled on the couch for another nap. The old butler gently shook Dick's shoulder until he was awake, then helped him up. "Thank you for taking such good care of your brother master Jason," he said with a smile as he exited the apartment.

Only after they were gone did Jason allow himself to laugh at all of the strange things Dick had done.

Man, it really had been a crazy morning.