Dick Grayson one shots

Just a spoonful of sugar

This is dedicated to Pantone_518  for something that they may or may not remember suggesting, but ya...

"How many was that sir?" Alfred asked, folding his arms over his chest and gesturing at the cookie in Dick's hand.

"Um, one?" Dick said, glancing down at the cookie in his hand and wondering how it got there.

Jason scoffed from across the room. "More like 10," he said.

Alfred sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "I do believe that this should be your last one then," he said.

"Ok narwhal," Dick muttered in response, starting to devour the cookie.

It had been nearly a week since Dick had last gotten more than an hour of sleep, something that happened when Bruce had called his eldest over to help with a massive breakout from Arkham, and his body hated him for it. He'd been acting partially insane for a few days now, and the cookies he'd just inhaled didn't help that at all.

Of course, Bruce didn't notice this at all, the absolute god of self care he was... not...

So when Dick had climbed up the wall of the Batcave to hang from the stalactites of the ceiling Bruce didn't notice that anything was wrong...

"Dick, come down from there," he simply called after a few minutes of watching his son hang upside down and screech like a bat.

Dick climbed to the lowest stalactite and dropped the few feet to the floor.

A ding announced the arrival of Jason, Tim, and Damian from the elevator.

Jason had a waffle in his hand that he was eating like a taco, something that seemed to interest Dick's sleep deprived and sugar hyped up mind enough to make him walk over to his brother and stare at him as he took bite after bite.

"What are you looking at?" Jason asked after a few moments of being weirded out by how closely Dick was watching him.

Dick's head popped up to look at Jason. "You are what you eat Waffle," he said before cartwheeling across the room.

Jason stood there for a moment, utterly confused. He looked at Tim who just shrugged and walked away.

"Wait a minute, nobody's going to talk about whatever the heck that was that Dick just did?" Jason asked, confused and concerned.

"I've seen weirder," Damian said with a huff.

"Fine, I'll just let the crazy man be then."

Bruce cleared his throat, getting the attention of the batboys, one of which *cough cough* Dick *cough cough* landed on his shoulder and perched there like some sort of giant eagle.

"We're going to be splitting into pairs for today's patrol," Bruce said, completely ignoring his son who was now doing a handstand on his shoulders. "Jason, you'll be with Dick, and Tim you'll be with Damian."

"Hey!" Tim and Damian yelled at the same time.

"Why do I have to be with the demon?" Tim whined.

"And why must I be paired with Drake?" Damian asked.

"I paired you with the brother closest to your age. You two need to learn to get along together," Bruce said, sending a glare towards Tim and Damian.

"What about me?" Jason asked. "My partner is currently pretending to be a monkey."

Dick, who looked slightly offended at that statement, hopped off of Bruce's shoulders and walked up to Jason, getting as close as Jason would let him and holding a finger in his face. "I am a drag grandma," he said sounding as if Jason had just drop kicked his dog across the street or something.