The Black Sisters

fourty-six

Dorea sat on the train beside Amos, Lila sat across from the two. Dorea looked dazily out the window as Lila and Amos held up a very vibrant conversation. Dorea enjoyed listening to them so eagerly talk about odd things. Amos being raised in a wizardly family, lila loved to explain muggle things. All of which seemed very simple coming from her mouth.

She watched the brightly colored flowers pass by in the fields. Dorea loved to watch the scenery fly by like a flip book. She caught sight of a bear, and a baby bear. She smiled slightly at them, internally wondering why they were out there but not mentioning or putting much thought into it.

She hadn't changed into a bear for a while. She didn't want to, her gift felt like a punishment. She'd acted wrongly when last in her bear form and she needed no reminders to remember the humiliation. Her cheeks flooded pink just thinking about it.

"oooooh Dory thinking about a boy are you?" Lila cued

"no."

"aw don't be that way Rea, you can tell us" Amos agreed.

"Remus said no boys." she said still transed in the window.

"so? That doesn't mean you don't have feelings" Lila ignored the mild disruption in Doreas face and continued "so who is this special boy..or girl" she smirked

In truth Dorea had never liked anyone ever. She felt late to a party that everyone was at. She felt alone, when some people complained about love, Dorea just wanted to experience it. Dorea loved her sisters, her cousins, Darling but she had never loved a boy or girl as in romance.

She wanted to feel butterflies and her cheeks blush at the sight of them. She wanted to never stop thinking about them and daydream of holding their hand. She wanted to nonstop talk about them and love every bit of them. She wanted to feel all the emotions that came with love. But she'd never had a crush.

It was odd in truth. her family was never built on love, it was built on privledge and direct planning. her family didn't care if you loved someone they were still going to marry you off. Lila had a massive crush on Amos, actually she had had it for a while now. Amos fancied some kids from first year on but it was always changing. Dorea however could never understand and therefor they avoided talking about it with her. She just couldn't understand any aspect of it. All she knew was from the pages of books she'd repeatedly read.

It was a natural thing, that came with maturance wasn't it? So why didn't it happen to her? She so much wanted to feel this forbidden feeling but where was it? How could she achieve it? Maybe it would come with time, maybe she was just late. Or perhaps the world had just bestowed another misery upon her. Is it something to be upset about, or releaved, it's such an untouchable topic. Such a hushed up conversation, that she knew nothing of, she wanted to know. She really did, but no one cared to explain it to her.

The mama bear loved her baby very much, that was something she didn't believe she'd ever expierience. If she was forced to marry a relative there was no way she'd have children with them. She'd only gotten snips of how a child is brought upon from Andie or Bella and they talked about it as if it were the most miserable occurance.

Therefor Dorea had silently pledged never to bare a child, esspecially not with a cousin or uncle or whatever was placed for her. Did a mother just instantly love her child? Or did the love come from the child being them. Did her mother instantly love her, but the love faded? Did Dorea's mother just run out of love by her fourth child?

Dorea had no way to tell, except to ask. And she was much to smart to put herself in that situation. She did not want to inquire upon adults about their love lives, if she asked any of the mauraders they'd laugh when she was being the upmost serious. She was treading in circles.

But when her train of thought pulled back around it brought her back to the very disturbing passed by thought of what her parents had planned. She had pledged to herself that she'd continue to fight. So whatever they throw at her she'd dodge, but it was still so threatening to think about, could her parents force her to marry one of her second cousins?

Her mother, Druella Black was originally a Rosier, she had married Dorea's father out of love. But it musn't have been true love, because they've fallen out of it.  They were never kind people, never even decent but they were better when they were blinded with their love and their shared children.

Bellatrix looked like Cygnus with her long black curls. Andie looked like Druella her mother with her brown hair. Narcissa looked like their grandmother, Grandmother Rosier had bright blonde hair that must have skipped a generation just to land on Cissa. Dorea looked like a mixture, she had her mothers light brown hair, and her fathers curls.

She didn't know why this mattered but it truly did. it played a valuable part in the black family because both the Rosier and Black family's were very different, one more docile, one more harsh. Bellatrix had grown up looking up to her father, and directly under her fathers harsh words and corrections, harshly molding her into a dangerous woman. Bellatrix woukld have been a very different woman if raised in a good accepting family. Andie was calmer, more stratigized, more planned. She knew how to get under your skin in a way you'd think it was a compliment. She knew how to manipulate you onto her side. narcissa was intelligent, but she's the most docile out of the bunch. Cissa wanted a husband, a baby, she wanted a happy family, with a big house, and a nice library. She wanted a happily ever after. And she got one..right?

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This one isn't too good but I'm really tired.

I had to go to school today and take a test..fun right

I'm sorry it's been like a week since I last posted I know I know I'm sorry

i love you all so much and just know it's going to be okay

This is my escape and I hold it close to my heart, thank you all for reading along with me

My baby Bear <3

Love your very favorite scribbler

-caroline