broken wings

chapter 12 no one wears that

more in detailed abuse will be in here

as far as I knew I didn't think people cared or loved each other , I didn't believe that people could accept each others fears and work around them. I have a lot of fears and been trough a lot of pain, some parts you guys don't even know about. life isn't easy and it isn't made to be either. life is a game, a sick messed up game.

it wasn't a secret not only I knew that, the looks he gave me for the rest of the lunch proved that he understood my pain in a way. he understood that sometimes not asking about it further will do me better.

I didn't speak for the rest of lunch not really feeling like opening my mouth and getting attention, I truly hated attention. the fact that people would look at me and be focused on me could lead to them knowing and dying. we wouldn't want that would we.

in my next classes not much happened, in my last class I needed to go to the canteen for study hour because my teacher wasn't here. walking there wasn't that hard even tho pain would go trough me once in a while. I walked into the canteen and I saw Emily sitting at a table doing homework I think, so I went up there because there weren't any empty ones.

" hey " I said while sitting down, she looked up and smiled " hey, you alright ? " I nodded as reply and picked my books knowing that I at home would need to rush my homework otherwise.

both sitting in silence and doing our homework didn't really feel weird. like I said before I like the fact she doesn't force me to talk, that she accepts me like this but what if it is pity and they don't even like me? I wouldn't know until they betray me.

" I don't want to be annoying but ur spacing out Zi and you've been out of it a lot today. you sure you're alright? " I looked up at her and watched her worried eyes staring into mine. " I'm alright. "

" you aren't, and you can keep acting tough and all, but no one wears that in this heat. its none of my business but that doesn't mean I'm just accepting it either, ............, finish your homework love" the last part she said when she realized that I was still staring at her in shock. so I did what she said not making a comment about what she just said to me.

I've always been able to hide my emotions and no one ever though I wasn't okay, but by becoming close to them they saw me on a daily basis so it was harder to hide. everything was harder but it also made me feel better.

we sat in silence for the rest of the period and the, the bell rang I was already done with my homework, I looked at Emily and she smiled at me and stood up. she walked to me and gave me a hug? it surprised me and I didn't hug back straight away but eventually did. " goodbye love, call me if something is wrong . " she pulled away and walked off not even giving me a chance to reply.

I took my stuff ad headed out the school ready to go for my walk home. because of the hug with Emily I wasn't on time to outrun Ashton and Xavier.

" little one how was your day ? " Xavier asked me, I whispered an ''okay yours?'' and he went on about his day and how great it was. all this time I didn't realize that my turtle neck came down a little and that Ashton was staring at me neck in confusion.

breaking off his little brother making Xavier glare at him he said " what's on your neck? " I straight away placed my hair over my neck and pulled my turtle neck up, " w-what ? "

" your neck ? why does it have a bruise ? " little did he know that bruise was a full on handprint of my father. I looked into his eyes and turned to look at Xavier who was now not glaring at Ashton but looked at me with worry " let me see " he said, I shook my head at him and looked between him and Aston again before taking them of guard and walking away as fast as I could.

" ZINA WAIT " I heard them both yell but I was gone already, hiding behind the dumpster I watched them walk by me and waited for another few minutes and started walking home. I still needed to clean and make diner and there was just no time for that so I ran.

my dad came home but I wasn't done yet , hell I didn't even start with dinner yet. he watched me as I made it, the scary part was that he hasn't even touched or yelled at me, he just said. go on start dinner.

when I was about to take it out of the oven and grabbed the oven gloves. I went for the dish but my father's voice stopped me. " no oven gloves princess " I looked at him in confession " I would-ould burn m-myself ? " he raised his eyebrows at me so I did what he said and took the oven gloves off. I knew it was going to hurt but if I didn't worse things could happen.

i went to reach for it, I flinched when I felt the hot steam touch my bare skin, when my hands finally were placed on the dish I picked it up out of the oven and straight away dropped the dish to the ground with a loud crash. this hurt so bad that I didn't even hear my father move the pan of the stove, but I got out of my trace when I felt my dad rip me with my upper arm towards it and force the back of my under arm on the hot stove.

I went to scream but couldn't when I felt my dad place his other hand on my mouth because we weren't in the basement. he wasn't on time tho and I knew I was able to release a small scream and secretly hoped someone heard.

when he finally released my arm I pulled it away, I looked at my arm and literally saw my bone and my vision had black spots now too, he was doing multiple things but I just couldn't focus and figure it out. he pushed my towards the sink and I saw him holding a bottle, before he did anything he covered my mouth with a cloth and then he grabbed my hands and poured on some red liquid I soon figured out because of the pain was Hot sauce , it burned so bad but then again was so far because of the pain coming from my arm.

" oh that hurts? sorry princess i'll help u clean it. " he stood behind me forcing me between him and the sink, I watched him take the kettle and realized it was on and ready. I wanted to push him back but all he did was force himself back on me. he grabbed me and poured the water over both my arms and hands. I screamed my heart out but I know they wouldn't hear at least not clear but it was loud, how I wish I told Xavier and Ashton that I lived here now. they could have helped me. he poured until all the water was gone. " I don't think it's all gone yet. " he grabbed a scouring pad and started to rub it on both my hands.

this was so painful that the last parts still not black now too turned black, I was in pain and passed out not knowing whatever he will do to me when I am asleep. how I wish my vision never cleared up again.