broken wings

chapter 55 pl-please

Cody's POV

it was bad probably one of the worst cases of child abuse they had ever seen here, yes I said, child abuse. not from us clearly but the doctors are pretty sure that it could be from her previous house, her fathers house. she never will probably admit it and the doctor admitted that the signs were there but he couldn't know for sure if it Came from her house or maybe a person near her.

it all was unsure and the only person with the answers is laying in a hospital bed in probably pain.

I love her I really do because I knew that she made Ryder happy, what happened to them? I have no clue once again, but he wouldn't do this without a reason I know there is a reason for his behavior, but that reason isn't good enough to not come to the hospital after she tried to commit suicide, nothing is an excuse for that.

something is going on, with Ryder and with Zina. and they both need to come clean soon because I have the feeling lot of things are on the line if not.

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it's been a few hours and me and my mum are in Zina's hospital room waiting fro her to wake up, and trying to contact Ryder, but neither is really going anywhere at the moment. well Zina is getting somewhere but not a lot, should be awake in the next hour so I guess we'll just wait...

" Cody we won't question her yet alright ? " me mum said to me bringing me out of my thoughts

" why? I mean shouldn't we know-"

" no we don't, not now. let her get over the shock of still being alive first maybe? and about the abuse... she didn't tell us for a reason let me handle it okay? " she cut me off.

" I just don't understand mum, she seemed fine until a few days back " I told her in concern.

" exactly Cody, a few days can cause a lot of self hate apparently " well I guess she was right because otherwise we wouldn't be here, we wouldn't be waiting for someone to freak out about a failed suicide attempt, life isn't as good for everyone I guess, and clearly not for her.

life can be a bitch

even to me it was

but more for her

I think

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" let go of me please " was the yell that woke me up, " please let go " I sat up rubbing my eyes

" Darling calm down please everything is okay " I heard my mums voice try to calm someone down.

" no let go of me "

" i am not even touching you sweetheart "

" please "

" it's okay just calm down, you are going to pass out like this "

" please leave "

" darl- "

" pl-please " she sobbed while my mum stood at the side of her bed trying to get her to breath properly. the panic was littering in her voice, fear written over her entire face all because she was still alive. " okay " my mum whispered to her with tears in her eyes, she looked at me telling me to go out together with her

and we did because it was clear that she needed help, that she wants okay.

my mum told the nurse that she was awake and then we went and sat outside the hospital trying to make everything make sense.

Zina's POV

i hoped that my sight kept being black never seeing light again until I saw my mum flying with me, together with her perfect wings and my broken ones, I wouldn't be able to fly long but now I cant even at all.

all I can do is cry, cry for being even a failure In this, In dying. I cant even do this right, can I then ever do anything right?

will I ever be good enough for anyone?

i hate life more than anything right now, even more then me

and let me tell you

it isn't easy to win from my selfhate

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at this moment doctors were talking to me, trying to get some information out of me and at the same time trying to tell me that this isn't the right solution, but in my head it was.

I wasn't listening to them I was listening to myself, cause I was the only person that never betrayed me fully, that never lied, the only person I could trust.

you cant trust family or friends, only yourself because thats the only person you have control over, and to be honest I even lost that, I even lost my control.

" i will leave you alone for now, please inform me with the red button if you need some help, even if it is a hug " the nurse smiled at me, I smiled back just because she never did anything bad, she wasn't the one that drove me to the hospital or the doctor that got me to stay alive. I couldn't blame her for anything and to be honest I couldn't blame anyone.

except me

and I needed to fix that

I needed to write my own story