broken wings

chapter 16 guess who?

I never really had the chance in life to succeed. I mean succeed when you are in pain and trauma? doesn't work, at least it never did for me. and I don't think i ever will. seeing people smile is something I like, I mean no one wants to see someone sad but it hurts, it hurts knowing that no one will truly ever understand me.

I don't remember much From last night, but it being Wednesday, I never needed to face any of them, I rushed home the moment the bell rang, and in the corner of my eyes I did see them, Xavier and Ashton, but they didn't try to catch up with me which I was glad for.

and coming home that day was exactly the same as always, except that I have more time to get everything ready. so when I did I made sure to finish every homework we had assigned already, after that I cleaned the house as good as I could so it was less hard the other days. after that I made dinner and kept it in the warm holder so it wouldn't cool of until he came back.

he wasn't home yet so I took something to eat and started eating it to still my hunger, I mean I can eat from my dad I just cant eat in his presence.

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its now Thursday, yesterday just the basic evening routine for me happened nothing unusual for me, but really unusual for others, walking to school and about 5 minutes of walking I realized that someone was walking behind me. I didn't want to turn around because if the person knows that I know it will probably lead to not so great experiences for me, again I just walked a bit quicker and stared at my still bandaged hands and wrists, It truly didn't get any better then it was, I even think it has gotten infected but I cant get any help for that.

i felt hands going over my eyes and deep down I wanted to scream and disappear from the face of earth, but I didn't get the chance.

" guess who little one "

little fucker

" hello Xavier and I guess Ashton is here too? "

" hey love " Ashton said when Xavier removed his hands from my eyes. I smiled at him and also smiled at Xavier. " where you even at school yesterday? " Aston asked

i nodded and he just smiled, I mean everyone knows I don't really like to talk so thanks ash. 

we just walked in silence most of the time of the walk to school but right before we almost reached the others Xavier asked me a dreadful question.

" are you okay? with your hands and stuff? " I knew It was going to come from someone today and probably from more than one person so I wasn't surprised. " I'm alright Xavier, It wasn't all that bad " he gave me an unsure smile and whispered a quiet " okay " but Ashton rolling his eyes didn't go unnoticed by me but its not like I dare to scold him for it, I mean he has a big fist. its scary.

we reached the others and Emily came up and hugged me " Nice to see my girlfriend has a new favorite " I heard Ashton scold in a sarcastic way. " ashy just shut up for a second, you good love ? " I nodded at the same time that Ashton whispered to himself " you should be glad I love you little shit " Emily glared at him and then smiled at me before going to him and hugging a pouting  Ashton " I love you " he whispered in her ear and she whispered something back which was probably the same.

" did you sleep well after I left ? " I looked at Ryder and said " yeah " and gave him a forced smile. " thanks for uhm cleaning, you didn't need to "

" just because I didn't need to doesn't mean I didn't want to. I had the feeling you arm was really burned with the way the kitchen looked. "

" yeah but it will be fine, its feeling better already " he gave me a big smile and hugged me, he believes me, thank god for that.

my head was on his chest and my arms were pressed between him and me, his arms where around my shoulders pulling me closer. when the bell rang after about 2 cosy minutes he kissed my forehead and said " bye love " I looked around to see the others already had left and I was now alone. did he just ? damn ...

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" so the sleepover this Saturday starts at 4 pm okay? you can choose where and with who you sleep I've got enough rooms, just don't bleed on my sheets yeah Zina ? " Amy said and I looked up kinda in shock. I saw Emily pinch Amy's arm and shaking her head no with a disappointed look on her face while the other ones glared at her. I just nodded and opened my mouth to say something when Cody cut me off " you're coming don't make up excuses " I shut my mouth again and nodded while looking down.

I guess ill make up a lie to my father or I just randomly get sick. as long as I don't die right, I mean not really I want to die so it wouldn't be that ba- " don't you need to get food? " Cody whispered in my ear which kinda scared me " its okay I forgot my money, I'm not that hungry its okay " I whispered back, he gave me a playful glare and whispered " nonsence " he stood up from the table and walked away, I tried to stop him but Ryder pushed me back down with his hand on my thigh and he, for real this time, glared at me showing that he heard us and wasn't playing around. I just stared at him trough my lashes and then looked back down playing with my hands.

his hand

was making me nervous as hell because it was still on my thigh but I couldn't be rude and push it of right ? it would be rude and disrespectful.

only a few minutes later Cody came back and placed a sandwich in front of me " you didn't nee-" " yes I did " " thank you " he gave me a smile and started eating his own food. while I opened my sandwich package and took slow bites from my sandwich. " hey Ryder - "

Ryder looked up at Xavier " how about we keep our hands to ourself ? would be a great idea wouldn't it? " Ryder glared at him and removed his hand from my thigh, I was confused on how Xavier knew because he was sitting opposite of me. " well then you can stop rubbing your foot agains my brother too, could you ? " Ryder said back. which Xavier pouted at and also moved his legs, probably away from Cody causing him to now put on a glaring pout towards Xavier. " why'd you do that? " " ask your brother not me " Cody truly looked confused, probably due to him not paying attention earlier.

lunch went farther with Xavier and Ryder bickering to each other and Emily and Amy talking about something that didn't really interest me. but then again I don't like attention so I didn't mind.