broken wings

chapter 35 I am sure

after dinner I went up to my room, I decided to just get everything ready for school tomorrow, I knew I wasn't stable to go a whole day but Julia couldn't know that since she didn't know where I was or what my home life was like. after that I just went to sleep, I never have peaceful nights but I think I do have that option when I am here, in Ryders and Codys house.

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" sweetheart wake up please, school starts in an hour. " I heard a gentle voice say while slightly shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes but closed them quick due to the light that was now in my room. " breakfast will be ready in half an hour " I heard the voice of Julia again before I heard a door close.

I stayed in bed for another 10 minutes or so before I finally pulled myself together and got out of bed with pain consuming me straight away when I moved. I went to the bathroom and undressed myself, took a shower and dressed before going downstairs for breakfast. it felt weird not needing to make it, it felt weird having this much time on spare to just get ready, I didn't need to rush and I liked the feeling to just have everything calm and on my own pace.

" good morning " I said walking into the kitchen seeing Ryder and his mum serving pancakes on their plates. " good morning darling " " good morning love ". why was Cody not even here?

i went and sat down when Julia picked up my plate and put pancakes on it " you don't ne-"

" oh child I am taking care of you now so let me " she said in a laughing demanding way, I gave her a smile and started eating the pancakes that I was served by her. I felt Ryders glance on the side of my head but I ignored it not feeling like having questions thrown at my head.

I think his mum noticed my confused look and realized why I was confused. " Cody isn't here until after school again love " I looked at her. " he and Ryder have different dads and his dad is still in the picture, he has 1 in the 2 weekends " I nodded at her with an understanding smile and all of us continued eating.

when Ryder finished he put his plate in the dishwasher and started heading towards the stairs but not before telling me " well leave at in 10 ". I finished my food quick and rushed upstairs combing my hair and grabbing my bag before going downstairs.

I picked my shoes and placed myself on the stairs to put them on, halfway trough putting them on I felt Ryder walk past me, he picked his own shoes and sat next to me putting on his shoes. " can I still not know? " he whispered tying his shoes when I was about to grab my jacket.

he looked at me with hope in his eyes " I won't judge you " he added.

" it doesn't matter Ryder " I said putting on my jacket " well for me it does Zina " I heard him whisper more to himself than to me.  he looked up again and made eye contact with me.

we stayed like that for a while until he broke eye contact by standing up and grabbing his jacket and putting it on " were leaving mum " he screamed to upstairs. " okay, have fun at school kids " she yelled back. we walked out of the house and Ryder got in his car so I did the same, I mean its not like I know how to walk from here to school and the fact that he said ' we leave in 10 minutes ' signaled to the fact that we would leave together, at least I thought so.

he started driving and we just sat in silence, I kept giving glances at him and so did he to me but a conversation never started. I didn't because I was scared that he again would try to get me to talk about where I was or why my dad wasn't able to take care of me, but why he didn't was clueless for me

we eventually arrived at school and we were a bit late due to there only being 2 minutes left to get to class. Ryder rushed out of the car and so did I, he yelled at me before rushing off completely " goodbye, see you at lunch ". I rushed off too not wanting to be late and I was right on time before the teacher closed the door.

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my classes before noon had just ended and I now needed to go to lunch, it was clear that I didn't want that, the look on their faces when they saw me come out of the passenger seat, the way they tried to reach me but I just ran away, I had a lot of explaining to do, they would ask even more questions as that Ryder would ask due to them seeing my injuries. they saw to much but I couldn't do anything about that.

i debated rather I should just try to get to the library instead but the idea was ruined when I felt an arm snake around my shoulder and heard a voice say " I heard you are my new roomie, actually housie but that sounds weird, wait I can say homie " I turned around to be faced with Cody and he gave me  bright smile while pulling me towards the canteen doors

" don't worry I wont ask questions, and not because I don't care but just because I know Ryder already done enough of that and that the others will do it in my place at lunch and then I am not the one to blame " we were now in the canteen and I saw Ryder heading our way.

he reached us and said " Zina my mum just called that she realized that she didn't give you lunch money so come on " he pulled me by my wrist towards the food part of the canteen causing Cody to walk away to I assume the others. we where waiting in line and he just looked at me. he does a lot of looking.

" I asked them to not ask to much questions, I know you don't want to answer them. b-but if you want to tell someone you can tell me, and I am not just saying that because I want to know, it's because I c-care " I looked up at him and he looked down at me, I gave him a small smile and tilted my head to the side while nodding.

he sighed and opened his arms whispering " come here "

and I did, I wrapped my arms around his torso while he wrapped an arm around my waist and the other was behind my head. he put a kiss on the top of my head and said " everything will be okay I promise " he whispered in my ear.

" don't make promises you aren't sure that you can keep " I said to him slightly getting teary eyes, I felt overwhelmed with what had happened ever since the sleepover and seeing the normal world again made me emotional, I was scared that I will never have a completely normal life. so having it for maybe only a while made me happier as ever.

" that's the thing love, I am sure "

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we just got our lunches and I was walking behind Ryder towards the table of my friends. I saw them look at us, Ryder sat down and I sat next to him keeping my head low not wanting to face them, but I felt arms wrap around me from the person next to me and them say " we missed you "

it was Ashton, he let me go and not even a second later I was in the arms of Xavier " ugh don't do that again, you freighted me " he let go and retuned to his place again. he soon was replaced by Emily who didn't hesitated to nearly break my ribs even more.

" as much as I want to question you until midnight Ryder forbid us so I'll let it be " she gave me a kiss on the cheek " I am sorry " I said to her feeling like I they deserve an explanation, I wasn't going to give them one but I knew that they deserved it. " you don't need to be, from what I saw you don't need to be " I looked at her and she had tears in her eyes, she did saw me black and blue and the way she was looking at me cleared the fact that she was thinking about how in looked underneath my clothes.

she gave me one last squeeze putting something in my hand and whispering " I think you'll need this, sorry if I hurt you " she let go of me and returned at her seat.

I looked inside my hand to see 2 painkillers and I smiled at her showing her I was thankful, because I truly was in a lot of pain, when Ryder and Cody weren't looking I took them. it didn't matter if the others knew I took them, for them to wasn't a secret on how I looked.