Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

Hero

Post the video.
Emily said it like she wasn't shaking.
But she was.
I could see it in her hands, in the way she kept one arm wrapped across her stomach, in the way her eyes flicked between me, the phone, and the travel cot where Eleanora slept with her rabbit tucked under one cheek.
She was terrified.
But she was still there.
And God, I did not know what to do with that.
For months, I had told myself Emily's fear meant absence. That her panic meant rejection. That the way she stepped back from Eleanora, it was because there was nothing maternal in her to reach for.
Now she stood beside our daughter's cot, looking like the whole world had its hands around her throat, and still said, post it.
Not because of me.
Not because of herself.
Because Ava had threatened the wrong thing.
Our daughter.
"You're sure?" I asked.
Emily's mouth tightened. "Don't ask me that like I'm fragile."
"I'm asking because once it's out, it's out."
"Story of our lives."
That should not have made me want to smile.
It did anyway.
Only Emily could stand in the middle of a public scandal, with an ex-lover and a co-star trying to destroy us, a director using my daughter as a marketing strategy, the country on the edge of lockdown, and still manage to sound unimpressed with me.
"I mean it," I said.
"So do I."
Her eyes held mine.
Clear.
Angry.
Afraid.
But certain.
I looked down at the phone.
Ava's message still glowed on the screen.
Tell Emily lockdown is going to be fun. She never did like being trapped with things she doesn't want.
My blood heated all over again.
Emily stepped closer, reading it one more time.
I hated that she did that.
Hated that she let the words touch her twice.
"Do you know what she means by that?" I asked quietly.
Emily gave a hollow little laugh.
"Which part? The trapped part or the things I don't want part?"
"Emily."
Her eyes moved to the cot.
Eleanora's back rose and fell in soft little breaths.
"I panicked a lot after she was born," Emily said. "Not in front of you, obviously. You were too busy hating me through solicitors."
I flinched.
She saw it.
Didn't apologise.
"I hated closed rooms," she continued, voice lower now. "Too many people. Too much noise. Too much expectation. Everyone telling me to hold her, feed her, look at her, bond with her. Like motherhood was a show I was failing in front of an audience."
My throat tightened.
"Ava knew?"
"She knew enough." Emily folded her arms tighter. "I don't know how. Maybe through mutual friends. Maybe because Ava has always had a talent for sniffing out weak spots."
"She's wrong."
Emily looked at me.
I swallowed.
"She's wrong about what you want."
Her eyes softened for half a second.
Then hardened again.
"Don't romanticise me just because I didn't run today."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"Maybe a little."
Her mouth almost twitched.
Almost.
Then Eleanora shifted in the cot and made a sleepy sound.
We both froze.
Neither of us breathed until she settled again.
The room stayed quiet.
Too quiet.
Downstairs, Anna's voice carried faintly up from the studio office, sharp and impatient.
"No, you listen to me. He is not available for comment. He is not available for staged photographs. He is not available for whatever emotionally constipated press tour you're trying to rescue from the ashes."
Emily blinked.
"Is she always like that?"
"With people she dislikes, yes."
"She must be exhausted."
"She loves it."
Jen's voice joined Anna's downstairs, lower and calmer, but still tense.
I looked at Emily.
"I need to send the video."
She nodded once.
"Do it."
So I did.
No statement drafted by legal.
No glossy caption.
No studio-approved wording.
Just the video.
My thumb hovered for half a second over the post button, and for that half second, I felt every hand that had been on my back since the franchise began.
Managers.
Directors.
Publicists.
Producers.
People saying smile here, touch her arm there, don't answer that, let them speculate, vulnerability sells, mystery sells, romance sells.
I thought about Jo beside me in interviews, laughing a little too warmly while I pretended not to notice.
I thought about Emily in the courtroom, pale and silent, letting everyone believe the worst because explaining the truth would have meant admitting how scared she was.
I thought about Eleanora crying into my neck while strangers shouted questions outside my parents' house.
Then I hit post.
It was done.
For a second, nothing happened.
The world did not split open.
The windows did not shatter.
The sleeping baby did not wake.
Emily stood beside me, staring at the phone like she expected it to bite.
Then notifications started.
One.
Ten.
Hundreds.
Thousands.
My phone became a live wire in my hand.
Emily took one look and stepped back.
"I hate that thing."
"So do I."
"Then why is your whole life in it?"
I glanced at her.
She shrugged. "Fame looks exhausting."
"You dated me before I was famous."
"Yes. You were exhausting then too."
This time, I did smile.
A real one.
Small.
But real.
Emily saw it and looked away too quickly.
Before either of us could say anything else, Anna appeared in the doorway, phone in hand and face strangely pale.
That made me straighten.
Anna angry was normal.
Anna pale was not.
"What?" I asked.
She looked from me to Emily, then to Eleanora sleeping in the cot.
"Government announcement is in twenty minutes."
Emily's face changed.
"That soon?"
Anna nodded.
Jen appeared behind her with her laptop hugged to her chest and her coat already over one arm.
"They're expecting people to stay at home except for essential reasons. Travel restricted. Non-essential businesses closing. Gatherings banned. We don't know every detail yet, but it's coming."
The bedroom seemed to shrink.
Emily's hand moved to the cot rail.
Not touching Eleanora.
Just the rail.
I noticed.
Anna did too.
Jen looked at me.
"We need to go."
I stared at her.
"What?"
"Anna and I need to leave now," Jen said gently. "If lockdown starts tonight, we can't be stuck here. We need tobget onto flights."
Anna looked annoyed by the fact that Jen had said it softly.
"Also," Anna added, "if I stay here, I will murder your director before the police have time to deal with the journalists."
"That sounds helpful," Emily muttered.
Anna pointed at her. "Don't tempt me. I like you too much already."
Emily looked startled.
So did I.
Anna ignored us both and kept going.
"The press are still outside the gates, but the police have moved them back from the driveway. Your studio assistant-actual assistant, not the evil studio assistant-is bringing groceries and essentials through the garage entrance. She's leaving them by the internal door, no contact."
Emily blinked. "Mia?"
Anna nodded. "She's fast. Slightly terrified of me now, but fast."
"Mia doesn't have to-"
"She wanted to," Jen said. "She said you took her in when no one else would hire her, and she owes you."
Emily looked away.
Another piece of Emily's life I hadn't known.
Another person she had saved while thinking she was incapable of care.
Jen stepped into the room and handed me my phone back.
"Legal has everything Jo sent so far. She's still forwarding screenshots. I gave her my email so it doesn't all go through you."
"Good."
"The journalist is already panicking," Jen continued. "The paper hasn't responded officially yet, but they pulled the follow-up piece naming the area where Eleanora was seen."
My stomach twisted.
"They had a follow-up?"
Jen hesitated.
"Yes."
Emily's fingers tightened on the cot rail.
I forced myself not to react.
Not in front of Eleanora.
Not in front of Emily.
I breathed through it.
"What else?"
Jen's eyes moved to Anna.
Anna took over. "Your director has called thirty-four times between us. He's furious about the video."
"Good."
"He's threatening breach of contract."
"Let him."
"He's also denying knowledge of the leak."
"Of course he is."
Jen lifted the laptop slightly. "The email chain doesn't fully prove he knew before the article published. It proves his assistant discussed using the scandal strategically after Ava floated it. We need more before we accuse him directly."
Emily looked at me.
"I thought you already did."
"I accused whoever was behind the threats."
"You said marketing strategy."
"I didn't name him."
"Subtle."
"I'm learning restraint."
She gave me a look.
Fair.
Anna crossed her arms. "Listen to Jen about legal. Do not name the director publicly. Do not call Ava. Do not answer Jo unless it's about evidence. Do not open the door for anyone. Do not let Hayden back in. Do not let Emily talk you into something stupid."
Emily's brows shot up. "Me?"
Anna looked her up and down. "You have chaotic influence."
"I do not."
"Last night says otherwise."
Emily flushed.
My chest tightened.
Anna pointed at me next. "And you. Do not use lockdown as an excuse to finally act out whatever tragic romance novel has been playing in your head for years."
I stared at her.
Emily made a strangled sound.
Jen coughed.
Anna looked between us. "What? There is a one-year-old asleep three feet away, a pandemic starting outside, and the press at the gates. Nobody needs unresolved sexual tension added to the emergency list."
Emily's face went bright red.
I rubbed a hand over my mouth to hide a smile.
"Anna," Jen warned.
"No, I'm serious." Anna lowered her voice, though not by much. "You both need rules. Actual rules. Because we're leaving, and once that announcement happens, it's just you two and the baby in this flat."
The words landed hard.
Just you two and the baby.
Emily's gaze dropped to Eleanora.
Mine followed.
Eleanora slept, unaware that the country was closing, unaware that Anna and Jen leaving meant the safety net in the room was about to vanish.
Emily's fear came back slowly.
I saw it fill her.
Not dramatic.
Not sudden.
Like water rising under a door.
"Maybe Eleanora should go with you," Emily said.
Everything in me went still.
Jen's face softened. "Emily-"
"No, I mean it." Her voice quickened. "Anna could take her to Hero's parents or somewhere else. Somewhere away from the press. Somewhere with someone who knows what they're doing."
"No," I said.
Emily's eyes snapped to mine.
"She stays with me."
"You mean us," Anna said quietly.
Emily flinched.
I looked at her.
Careful.
"Emily."
"No." She stepped back from the cot. "Don't say it like that. Don't say my name like you already know what I'm doing."
"You're panicking."
"Yes," she snapped. "Because everyone is leaving, and there is a baby in my bedroom, and outside is a virus no one understands and reporters at my gates and your ex-lover sending threats like she knows me better than I know myself."
Her voice cracked on the last word.
Eleanora stirred.
Every adult in the room froze.
Emily pressed both hands over her mouth, eyes wide with horror.
But Eleanora only shifted, rubbed her face into the rabbit, and settled again.
The silence after felt fragile.
I stepped closer to Emily.
Slowly.
She watched me like she might bolt if I moved too fast.
"I'm not leaving you alone with her," I said quietly.
Her eyes shone.
"That's not the point."
"I know."
"No, you don't."
"I know that you're scared."
She laughed under her breath. "That is the least complicated thing about me."
"I know you don't want to feel trapped."
Her face changed.
Ava's message sat between us.
Heavy.
Ugly.
I lowered my voice.
"You're not trapped with things you don't want."
Emily's throat moved.
"Don't."
"You're in your home. Your studio. Your building. I'm the guest here."
"You own half of it."
"On paper."
"That paper mattered when you needed it to."
The blow landed.
I nodded.
"You're right."
Anna shifted like she wanted to intervene, but Jen touched her arm.
Emily's eyes narrowed, as if my agreement annoyed her.
I kept going.
"If you want me to sleep downstairs in the studio, I will. If you want me on the sofa, I will, or even the spare bed. If you want rules, we make rules. If you need five minutes away from Eleanora, you take them. If you need a whole day, you take it. I'm not here to force you into motherhood by proximity."
Her face crumpled.
Only for a second.
"I don't want her to feel it," she whispered.
"She won't."
"You don't know that."
"No," I admitted. "I don't."
She looked away.
"I know I'm meant to say yes," she said, almost too quietly to hear. "That I want her here. That I want to try. That this is some big emotional moment where I step up."
"You don't have to perform."
Her eyes came back to mine.
"I don't know how to want her, Hero."
The room went very still.
Anna looked down.
Jen's face tightened with sympathy.
I swallowed.
"That doesn't mean you won't."
"It might."
"Then we deal with might when it gets here."
She shook her head. "How can you be so calm about this?"
"I'm not."
"You look calm."
"I'm hanging on by a thread."
That silenced her.
I looked towards the cot.
"When I brought Eleanora home, I thought love would make me good at it. It didn't. I was terrified. Exhausted. Angry sometimes because she wouldn't sleep and I didn't know what else to do. Then I'd hate myself for being angry at a baby." My voice lowered. "Wanting her didn't make me perfect."
Emily stared at me.
"You never told me that."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because you already thought I was better than you."
Her face twisted.
"I didn't think that."
"Yes, you did."
She didn't deny it.
I took one more step closer.
"I'm not asking you to be her mother tonight. I'm asking you to let her sleep while I keep her safe. That's all."
Emily looked at the cot.
Then at Anna.
Then Jen.
Then the window, even though the curtains were shut.
Outside, faintly, someone shouted my name.
Emily's jaw tightened.
"She stays away from the windows."
"Done."
"And no cameras. No one photographs her. Not even family."
"Done."
"And if I say I need space, you don't look at me like I'm failing."
I hesitated.
Not because I intended to judge her.
Because I knew my face too well.
"I'll try."
Her eyes flicked to mine.
"Honest," she said softly.
"Always a risk with us."
The corner of her mouth moved.
Barely.
But it was there.
Anna clapped once, quiet enough not to wake the baby.
"Good. Rules. Excellent. Now, practical things before we abandon you to your emotional hostage situation."
"Anna," Jen hissed.
"What? That was supportive."
"It was not."
"It was efficient."
Emily muttered, "I prefer her to your director."
"Low bar," I said.
Anna pointed at us again. "Rule one: nobody opens the gates unless you know exactly who is there. There are cameras. Use them. Rule two: all communication with press, Jo, Ava, the studio, or Hayden goes through Jen or legal."
Jen nodded. "I'll be working from home, but I'm reachable. I'll keep monitoring everything."
"Rule three," Anna continued, "you both eat actual food. You both sleep when the baby sleeps if you can. And for the love of God, do not turn every bottle feed into a courtroom re-enactment."
Emily looked at me.
I looked at her.
"That feels aimed at both of us," she said.
"It is," Anna replied.
My phone buzzed again.
This time, a call from Mum.
I answered immediately but kept my voice low.
"We're inside. She's asleep."
Mum exhaled hard. "Thank God."
"The press?"
"Still outside, but fewer. Your video is everywhere."
I glanced at Emily.
She stiffened.
"What are they saying?"
Mum paused.
I hated that pause.
"Mixed things," she said carefully. "A lot of support. A lot of noise. But people are angry on Eleanora's behalf, not at her."
That mattered.
More than I wanted to admit.
"And Emily?"
Another pause.
Emily looked at me, face unreadable.
"Some people are still cruel," Mum said softly. "But your statement helped."
Emily's eyes dropped.
I wished I hadn't asked in front of her.
"I'll call you later," I said.
"Are you staying there?"
I looked at Emily.
She looked back.
"For now."
Mum understood the layers immediately. Of course she did.
"Be kind to each other," she said.
I nearly laughed.
"We'll try."
"No, Hero. Be kind. Trying is what people say when they want credit for almost doing it."
Emily's brows lifted.
She had clearly heard.
I sighed. "Yes, Mum."
"And make sure Emily eats."
Emily's mouth fell open.
I ended the call before she could argue with my mother through my phone.
"She still does that?" Emily asked.
"What?"
"Mothers everyone within range."
"Professionally."
Emily looked towards the cot.
A strange expression crossed her face.
Not envy.
Maybe longing.
Maybe grief.
I wanted to ask.
I didn't.
Anna checked her watch. "We have to go."
The room changed again.
Final.
Jen closed her laptop and handed Emily a folded paper.
"Codes. Contacts. Legal number. Police reference. My number is at the top, but you have it anyway."
Emily took it. "Thank you."
Jen's face softened. "You're going to be okay."
Emily laughed quietly. "That seems optimistic."
"I didn't say today."
That got the smallest smile from her.
Anna moved to me first and pulled me into a hug so sudden I almost dropped my phone.
"Don't be an idiot," she said against my shoulder.
"Very touching."
"I mean it."
"I know."
She pulled back and looked me dead in the eye.
"Don't punish Emily because Jo hurt you."
The words were quiet enough that Emily wouldn't hear.
I swallowed.
Anna saw the promise in my face before I made it.
Then she turned to Emily.
For a second, neither of them moved.
Emily looked like she expected a lecture.
Anna surprised her by pulling her into a hug too.
Emily froze.
Completely.
Anna held on anyway.
"You did good today," Anna said.
Emily's eyes filled instantly.
"I didn't."
"You did."
"I barely held her."
"You held her."
Emily looked over Anna's shoulder at me.
Terrified by the kindness.
I looked away before my face ruined it.
Anna let her go.
Then, because she was Anna, she added, "Also, if you break his heart again, I'll be very cross, but I'm currently choosing growth."
Emily let out a wet laugh.
"I'll keep that in mind."
Jen hugged me, then Emily, much more gently.
Then they were leaving.
Down the stairs.
Through the studio.
Out towards the garage where Jen's car waited behind the gates.
I followed them down to lock up after them while Emily stayed upstairs with Eleanora.
At the bottom, the studio felt different now.
Emptying.
Anna paused by the office door. "Press at the front has thinned, but there are still two cars across the road. Don't underestimate Ava."
"I won't."
"Or Jo."
That one hit differently.
"I won't."
Jen looked up from her phone. "Jo says Ava has gone silent, but she thinks Ava has access to an old cloud folder. Screenshots. Photos. Maybe court paperwork."
"From where?"
Jen hesitated.
"Not sure yet."
Anna muttered, "I'd bet money on Hayden having less clean hands than Emily thinks."
I looked towards the ceiling.
"She doesn't believe it's him."
"She doesn't want to," Anna said.
I frowned.
She held up a hand. "I'm not saying he leaked it. But he had access to the building once. He knew Emily's routines. He knew what would hurt her. Men like that don't always sell stories, but they do leave doors open and call it concern."
My jaw tightened.
"I'll check the codes."
"Good."
Jen touched my arm. "Announcement's starting. We really have to go."
I walked them through the garage entrance.
Emily's car sat inside, sleek and untouched, beside boxes of studio costumes and old props. The garage door opened onto the private driveway behind the gates. Beyond them, blue lights flashed faintly where police were still talking to two photographers near the road.
Lockdown or not, the world still wanted a piece.
Anna and Jen got into the car.
Before closing the door, Anna looked at me.
"For what it's worth, that video was the right thing."
I blinked.
"Are you feeling unwell?"
"Don't ruin it."
Then she shut the door.
Jen reversed carefully through the gates after I opened them just enough to let the car out. The second they cleared the driveway, I closed the gates again and locked them.
Metal met metal with a final sound.
I stood there for a moment, staring through the bars.
The city felt strange.
Too quiet.
Too loud.
The sky was grey and heavy. People moved quickly along the pavement, heads down, bags full. A man across the road lifted his phone. I turned before he could take anything useful.
Inside, I locked the garage door.
Then the studio door.
Then the stairwell door.
One by one.
Each lock felt like a choice.
By the time I got back upstairs, the government announcement had started on the television.
Emily stood in the living room, remote in hand, the volume low. The curtains were still shut. The room was dim, lit by the grey afternoon slipping through the edges.
On screen, the Prime Minister's face filled the room as he told the country to stay at home.
No unnecessary travel.
No gatherings.
Non-essential shops closing.
People must not meet friends or family outside their households.
Households.
I looked at Emily.
She looked at me.
The word sat between us like a verdict.
Eleanora slept in the bedroom.
Anna and Jen were gone.
The gates were locked.
The country was closing.
Emily lowered the remote slowly.
"How long?" she whispered.
"No one knows."
Her eyes met mine.
Fear moved there first.
Then something else.
Awareness.
The same awareness that had been between us in the hotel room. In the hallway. Over the cot. In every silence where our bodies remembered what our minds kept trying to deny.
I cleared my throat.
"We need rules."
Emily gave a faint, humourless smile.
"Anna already gave us rules."
"We need our own."
She nodded.
"Okay."
I stayed near the doorway. Distance felt safer.
"For Eleanora," I said. "I'll do nights. Feeds. Nappies. Everything. You can help when you want. Or not."
Her face tightened.
"When I want?"
"Yes."
"And when I don't?"
"Then you don't."
She studied me.
"You'll resent me."
"Probably sometimes."
Her eyes widened slightly.
I shrugged. "You asked for honesty."
"I hate it."
"I know."
The smallest laugh left her.
Then faded.
"What about you?" she asked.
"What about me?"
"Where are you sleeping?"
"Sofa."
"The sofa is terrible."
"I've slept in worse places."
"I know. You used to sleep on trains and call it character building."
"You loved that about me."
"I tolerated it because you were pretty."
I smiled before I could stop myself.
Emily looked away.
Colour touched her cheeks.
Dangerous.
Too easy.
Too familiar.
I forced myself back to the rules.
"I'll stay on the sofa."
Her eyes came back to mine.
"And last night?"
Everything in the room stilled.
The television continued in the background, the Prime Minister talking about restrictions and responsibility while Emily and I stood six feet apart, pretending distance meant control.
"What about it?" I asked.
Her throat moved.
"It can't happen again."
The words landed exactly where she intended.
I nodded.
"Okay."
She blinked, almost startled.
"That's it?"
"You said it can't happen again."
"And you agree?"
"No."
Her breath caught.
"I'm respecting it," I said.
Her eyes held mine.
The air thickened.
I should have looked away.
I didn't.
Emily's voice softened, but only slightly.
"That's not the same thing."
"No."
"Hero."
"I know."
She wrapped her arms around herself.
"We have Eleanora here."
"I know."
"And the press."
"I know."
"And Jo and Ava and your director."
"I know."
"And a national lockdown."
"I know that too."
"So why are you looking at me like that?"
Because I still remembered the weight of your leg over mine.
Because my mouth still knew the shape of your shoulder.
Because you held our daughter today and I saw the life we lost reach through the one we ruined.
Because I love you, and now there is nowhere to run from it.
I said none of that.
"I don't know how else to look at you," I said.
Her face crumpled in frustration.
"That is exactly the kind of thing that gets us in trouble."
"I know."
"Stop saying you know."
"I'll try."
She glared at me.
I almost smiled again.
Then Eleanora cried from the bedroom.
Soft at first.
Then louder.
The spell broke.
I moved automatically, but Emily's hand lifted.
Not touching me.
Just stopping me.
"I'll check," she said.
My heart kicked.
She looked terrified the second she said it.
But she didn't take it back.
"I'll come with you," I offered.
She shook her head.
"No." She swallowed. "Give me one minute. If I panic, I'll call."
Everything in me wanted to argue.
Instead, I nodded.
"Okay."
Emily turned and walked down the hallway towards the bedroom.
One step.
Then another.
Then she disappeared through the door.
Eleanora's crying softened slightly when Emily murmured something.
I stood in the living room, listening to the country shut down on the television while the woman I loved tried not to run from the baby she had once thought she couldn't keep.
My phone buzzed.
I looked down.
A message from Ava.
Enjoy your little lockdown family. Let's see how long she lasts.
I stared at it.
Then deleted the thread without replying.
From the bedroom, Emily's voice came again.
Quiet.
Shaking.
But there.
"I'm here. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm here."
Eleanora cried.
Emily kept talking.
I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes.
For the first time all day, I did not chase.
I stayed where I was.
And listened to Emily stay too.