Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

Emily

Planning a wedding with Hero should have been romantic.

It was not.

It was war.

Not between us.

Mostly.

It was war between our families, our friends, our daughter, my sister's taste, Natalie's post-wedding enthusiasm, Kelly's hatred of bridesmaid duties despite already agreeing to be one, and Hero's sudden opinion on napkin texture.

Napkin texture.

"I'm just saying," he said one evening, standing in our beautiful kitchen with two fabric samples in his hand and a face that suggested he thought he was being useful, "this one feels more expensive."

"It is more expensive."

"Exactly."

"It's a napkin."

"It touches people's faces."

I stared at him.

He stared back.

Eleanora, now sitting on the counter eating strawberries from a bowl she had absolutely not been given permission to climb up and reach, held out a tiny hand.

"Nap."

Hero handed her the sample.

She pressed it to her cheek.

"Soft."

Hero pointed at her.

"See?"

"She is three. She also thinks dinosaurs need pyjamas."

"Rawr Ti does need pyjamas."

"Do not bring that cursed dinosaur into our wedding planning."

From the living room, where Rawr Ti sat in pride of place wearing one of Eleanora's old baby vests, Eleanora shouted, "Rawr wedding!"

Hero looked delighted.

I closed my eyes.

"No."

"Yes," he whispered.

"No dinosaur wedding party."

"Just one."

"No."

"Flower dinosaur?"

"Hero."

He smiled at me like the menace he had always been, only softer now. Less sharp around the edges. Less likely to burn the house down just to prove he could make light.

More mine.

That still startled me sometimes.

Fiancé.

The word had taken months to sit right in my chest.

At first it felt too delicate.

Too shiny.

Too much like something people could take from us if they stared too hard.

Then life did what life did.

It made even miracles ordinary.

Hero became my fiancé while brushing Eleanora's teeth.

My fiancé while leaving scripts on the sofa.

My fiancé while flying to Milan for a brand ambassador campaign and FaceTiming from a hotel room because Eleanora needed to show him a worm she had found in the garden.

My fiancé while coming home from filming exhausted, famous, photographed, and still somehow spending twenty minutes on the nursery floor letting our daughter put hair clips in his hair.