Loving A Her (Intersex) Completed

Chap 0 6 3

BRITANNY BLAIRE

Do you know that very irritating and hurtful feeling of being hurt without even having a right or a proper reason for feeling hurt?

I've never felt that way— not until now. Fuck.

Hindi mo alam kung saan ka masasaktan, sa katotohanan ba na pinamukha na sa 'yo o sa nararamdaman mo na hindi mo maiwasang maramdaman nang dahil rin sa katotohanang 'yun.

Tama lang naman siguro ang masaktan dahil mahal mo 'yung tao diba? Pero ang magselos— alam kong walang kami pero maiiwasan ko rin ba 'yun?

Hindi. It's inevitable even if you keep on reminding yourself that you have nothing to hold as a proof that she is yours. Because once you felt deep affection towards a person, jealousy will always be present.

But above all that, seeing the person your inlove with on top of another girl, it hurts like a fucking bitch.

Worst, even if I don't have the right or entitled to be, I felt like I was betrayed.

Nakakatawa diba? Pakiramdam ko pinagtaksilan ako. Pinagtaksilan ako ng taong mahal ko kahit wala namang namamagitan samin. Ha ha.

"Your sulking again, here."

Kinuha ko ang tissue'ng inaabot ni Brad sabay ngiti. I thanked him and used the tissue to wiped my tears.

"Where are the girls?" I asked him while leaning my back on my balcony's railings.

"They went downstairs. Kukuha daw sila ng mga ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate and different desserts para partner ng pagda-drama mo. They said that not me." sagot nya habang nasa tabi ko. Hindi naman kami masyadong malayo sa isa't-isa. Hindi din masyadong malapit.

I chuckled dryly. "Those girls, really."

I heard him sigh. "It's been two days, aren't you tired?"

Two days. Oo nga pala. Dalawang araw na 'kong ganito. Dalawang araw na rin simula nung nangyari ang araw na parang pinagsakluban ako ng langit at lupa. As cliché as it may sound, but that's exactly what I'm feeling even up until now.

I smiled at Brad and placed my head on top of my knees.

I did went to school of course. But it's not the same anymore. I really tried my hardest to retain my bitchy and brat demeanor whenever I'm outside our house. But, the thing is, I became more bitchy than I used to be. Palagi nalang akong naiirita sa lahat ng bagay na hindi umaayon sa 'kin. Ewan ko ba. Parang palagi nalang akong wala sa mood. Galit ako sa lahat ng bagay na hindi magugustuhan ng mga mata ko. I bully every nerd that I see and pull the hairs of the girls that were long. Worst, I even bully those people who are the same as August. People who are part of the LGBTQ shit.

(🤨< Mukha ko habang sinusulat 'to)

I'm even surprised that my friends aren't disowning me yet even tho they're aware that I'm already going overboard. Not that I want them to but still, I'm thankful.

Kinuwento ko narin sa kanila at kay Brad ang nangyari. And guess what're their reaction? Nothing but pity towards me. Ang sabi nila wala naman dawng masama dahil pareho naman daw silang walang kinakasama. I mean they're right but, what about me? They're aware about my feelings towards a certain freak, and it hurts to think that what they said was true but that made me even more hurt.

"Ice cream!"

"Whipped cream!"

"Chocolates!"

"Cookies!"

"Churos!"

"Desserts!"

Sinulyapan ko lang sila ng tingin na may dalang iba't-ibang mga snacks. Umupo sila sa harap namin ni Brad at nilapag ang mga pagkain sa gitna. I scooted the blanket that's covering my body up to my chest. It's getting cold in here actually.