Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

finally home

don't question the logic in this oneshot it doesn't make sense but i liked the idea

harley sighed walking into her home she had just come back from a mission with the suicide squad

the squad and amanda waller had come to an agreement they would continue doing missions but with no jail or neck bombs it took some negotiating and they got there but boy did joker hate it he felt worried 24/7 when she was gone he couldn't rest when he knew his baby girl was putting her life on the line and plus that she was one of the only woman there he felt a bit more comfortable when katana was there but sadly she isn't on all missions harley could be gone for days and the longer she was the more concerned he got

harley quickly took off her heels leaving them by the door ''should've took mistah J's advice to leave them behind'' she muttered to herself tiredly ''harley!'' she heard a voice yell

joker ran up to her and hugged her tightly ''oh my god you're safe'' he whisper yelled before picking her up and spinning around ''yeah why wouldn't i be'' harley giggled a bit ''you were gone for a week harls'' he said his eyes frantically searching her body for any injuries he needed to tend to ''i'm okay puddin come on it's late let's go to bed'' she breathed tiredly ''okay doll'' he agreed he was quite tired himself since he was awake all night waiting for her to come home he hadn't slept very well the whole week either he needed to know she was safe to relax

of course he knew she wasn't a defenceless porcelain doll who needed to be watched at all times but that's how he felt sometimes that she needs her daddy to protect her from all the dangerous things the world holds there was countless times where he called her at 3 AM to make sure she was okay

harley tiredly walked up the long stairs sighing J noticed this and picked her up holding her bridal style ''aww harley-girl you worked so hard you're exhausted'' he cooed once they got to their bedroom she couldn't deny it missions really took a lot out of her she only got 3 or 4 hours of sleep per night and this was the longest mission she had been on ''you work so hard baby relax you're safe with me now you don't have to worry about anything'' joker hushed he knew  there was so much weight on her shoulders

he laid her down on the king sized bed making harley whine in disapproval ''daddy's coming now baby'' joker smiled laying down next to her she immediately curled up against him placing her head on his chest while he wrapped his arms around her seeing a bruise on her leg while he did so ''my poor baby'' joker thought''i missed you so much'' harley complained ''i know i know daddy missed you too honey'' J said making her curl closer to him if that was even possible 

joker stroked harley's cheek lightly before she flinched making him realise there was a healing cut on her cheek ''my poor sweet girl'' he muttered to himself ''did deady try anything'' joker asked protectively ''no pud i've told you before he's like a brother to me'' harley giggled despite how tired she felt ''okay just making sure'' ''what about flag'' ''he has a girlfriend!''harley exclaimed laughing ''well how was i supposed to know'' he laughed back ''also just because he has a girlfriend doesn't mean he won't try anything''  he added ''you know he'd be dead before he could even attempt anything right puddin i ain't a precious princess'' harley smiled ''you're my precious princess'' joker grinned kissing the top of her head 

''did ya do anything fun while i was gone'' harley asked ''nothings fun without you'' joker answered ''aww how bout we rob gotham bank tomorrow'' she suggested ''or we could stay home and spend the time together we couldn't this week because of that government bitch '' he said referring to amanda waller ''government bitch'' harley repeated giggling ''what she's a bitch and she works for the government'' he reasoned ''the bitch part is extra true'' harley said ''i mean you're more compassionate then i've ever seen her be and you're a fucking murderer'' she added ''only towards you'' ''mmhmmm and i'm very happy to be that only'' she smiled ''and i'm very happy to be the only one who has you'' joker tightened his arms around her protectively  

harley yawned snuggling up to the joker struggling to keep her eyes open ''go to sleep baby you're safe i'm here'' the jester smiled quickly falling asleep a grin still on her face joker watched as she slept before eventually falling asleep himself knowing his queen was safe with her king