Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Christmas headcanons.

• Joker and Harley always make each other Christmas Eve boxes. J's for Harley usually has things like her favorite Christmassy bubblebath, cosy pajamas, a pair of Christmas earrings, and a bottle or two of her favorite lotions. Harley's for J has things like his favorite hair gel, Christmas socks, Christmas pajamas, and a bottle of his favorite whiskey.

• The first year of their relationship, J didn't bother with Christmas because he thought it was useless and a scam. Harley got upset about this and decorated the whole house while he was sleeping. Afterwards, Harley gave J an ultimatum, he will either be Christmassy with her, or she will not cuddle with him for the whole month of December every year. At this point, J had newly discovered the joys of Harley's cuddles and kisses, and caved.

•  Harley can never sleep on Christmas Eve because she gets too excited and giddy, so J made it his job to make her so tired that she physically can't keep her eyes open. He found that all it took was some good sex, a cup of hot chocolate, cuddles with head scratches and kisses, some rain sounds playing on the tv, and also getting her wrapped in a blanket in a way that made her a little murderous burrito.

• Harley is worse than a four year old for sneaking and trying to open presents from under the tree. One year, Harley realized that her two hyenas were both incredibly intelligent and loyal, which led her to training them to grab presents from under the tree and open them whilsts Daddy or Frosty wasn't looking. When Joker confronted her about this, she pleaded innocence and stated that she didn't do anything, it was all the hyenas. "I didn't open 'em, pud. The babies did."

•  Joker always gets woken up by an excited, squealing, bouncing, and giggling Harley at 4 in the morning on Christmas day. Always.

•  They always make gingerbread houses together. When it's time to smash them and eat them, Harley uses her bat or mallet.

•  Every Christmas Eve, they have a bath together. It wasn't intended to be a tradition, but they're first Christmas Eve together, they decided to have a bath together, they washed each other's hair and cuddled, then it stuck.

•  In December Harley gets obsessed with downloading Santa tracking apps. She checks them religiously the week leading up to Christmas. Obviously, she doesn't believe in Santa, but it's fun for her to see it moving around and reading the updates.

•  Decorating the Christmas tree always evolves to them getting into play fights and throwing baubles at each other.

•  They always go overboard with gifts for each other. Every. Year.
-
This'll be my Christmas post this year because I am extremely fixated on Cedric and Sofia yet again. The purple found father daughter with daddy issues has once again taken its hold on me, and I'm not upset because I love them so fucking much. I found these headcanons I forgot to post last year in my notes, so here ya go! With that I'm going to continue crying about a purple princess and purple sorcerer from a show meant for 4 year olds over on Tumblr, I'll be back:)
-
lilmisspuddinpop