Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Late Nights.

(Art at the top is by the amazing Harlspuddin)

This is completely plotless and fluffy Jarley, but then again basically all my oneshots are:)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Wordcount: 1,804

-

Joker grumbled quietly as he woke up from sleep, reaching across the bed for Harley.

After feeling around the bed, he  ealised she wasn’t there. He opened his eyes and checked the LED clock that read ‘2:30 AM’.

“Baby….” he groaned tiredly. He didn’t like it when he woke up and Harley wasn’t in bed with him.

“Down here, Pud,”

J heard Harley say from the floor by the bed. “Mmm..What are you doing up at this hour, Baby. Did you have another nightmare?” Harley shook her head. “I couldn’t sleep no more, Puddin. I was just readin’ a book on my phone,” she said, turning to rest her arms on the bed and look at J. ”well, why didn’t you wake me up, my love. I could of gotten you back to sleep.”

J could always get her to sleep even if she thought it was physically impossible. Whether it was by gently massaging her shoulders and neck or humming an unknown melody, he always found a way and he saved her from many sleepless nights.

Harley just shrugged. “Eh, i wanted to finish my book.”

J raised his shaved eyebrows. “Let me guess, it’s one of those Mafia love stories you’re obsessed with reading,” he said, smirking when she nodded. “You know most of those are mostly likely written by cringy 15 year old girls that have no idea how the mafia actually works while in a boring history class, right?”

“Don’t insult my beloved mafia romances, okay!”

Joker chuckled. “Okay, Doll.”

He rolled to the other side of the bed where Harley was and started mindlessly playing with her hair whilst she continued to read her book on her phone.

After a little bit he started softly humming to her, making her smile and look up from her phone.
“Ya know, these stories always remind me of us,” Harley said, leaning back against the bed so he could play with her locks better. “And how would that be?”

“I met an Evil, crazy and cruel criminal that thought he had no heart and couldn’t love whilst he was imprisoned. I forced myself into his life and the heart he didn’t know he had.” She smiled before continuing. “Now instead of waking up, downing a shot of whiskey and rushing to his office to do paperwork every morning, he makes sure to give me at least an hour's worth of morning cuddles and kisses before he leaves bed. After coming home from a long night of killing people and tormenting The Dark Knight he would throw himself into bed only to wake up again at 5 AM for more work. Now, even after I suggest giving him a back rub to ease his stresses and pains, he insists on playing with my hair and holding me until I fall asleep. I took a stone cold, cruel, manipulative, lonely crime boss and turned him into a hopeless romantic that calls me ‘Baby girl’ and tells everyone I’m his Queen.”

Joker leaned down and gave her a long, love filled kiss.  “If either of us were a hopeless romantic it would be you, love,” he whispered, mouth barely an inch away from her lips. “Hm, you sure about that, Mr ‘You know i’d do anything for you?’”  “Hmm, well, I remember when I asked an attractive young woman who seemed to look oddly similar to you…” J held back a smirk when he saw Harley’s eyes darken in jealousy before he continued. “If she would be willing to get me a machine gun, to which she, If i remember correctly, said something along the lines of ‘Anything, i mean, yes.’ and then she pushed her black glasses that I just adored back up against her beautiful face.”
Harley’s eyes lightened as she realised that he was talking about her, well, the old her anyway.