Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Headcannons.

• Sometimes instead of waking Harley up by rubbing her shoulder or telling her to wake up, Joker wakes her up by holding her face in his hand and giving her gentle kisses all over her face, being extra careful when going over her eyelids and near her eyes. Harley thinks that there’s no better way to be woken up and she knows that it’s going to be a nice day when he does it.

• They have a schedule for which one of them cooks dinner. Basically one day Harley does it then the next day it’s J and so on so forth. And of course there’s the days where both of them are feeling lazy and order take out.

• Harley loves to explore old abandoned buildings. asylums, schools, hospitals, theme parks, etc, but J refuses to let her go alone. Either him or a henchman are always with her. Harley tells him that she knows what she’s doing and that she’s not one of those stupid YouTubers that go places that are obviously dangerous without taking safety precautions, she even texts him where the place is in case anything were to happen, but J is always worried that because the buildings are extremely old, some over 100 years old, something might break and cause her to hurt herself or a second floor being fragile and falling through on her.

• Sometimes when Harley’s sleeping, J likes to feel her pulse. He finds it calming and reassuring, it lets him know that she’s well. Harley’s woken up before with his fingers gently pressing on her wrist.

•  When Harley’s sick, she only takes the flavoured medicine meant for children because she doesn’t like the taste of the ones made for adults. It’s that or J would have to literally force her to take it.

• J has a habit of tapping with his finger when he’s stressed. When Harley notices him doing it, she takes his hand in her’s and gently rubs the back of it with her thumb. If they’re alone she’ll ask him if he’s okay and kiss his hand, but if people are around she’ll just hold his hand and give him loving glances or whisper calming words into his ear because she knows he isn't comfortable with expressing his emotions in front of other people.

• When J has to leave home for a few days for work, he needs to leave at least one unwashed shirt for Harley to wear or she will be very irritated with him when he comes back, and also very sleep deprived because the scent of his shirt is the only thing that can get her to sleep without him and she can pretend he’s there with her. J’s not any better. before he leaves, he sneaks one of Harley’s favourite perfumes into his bag to spray on his pillow for the exact same reason Harley wears his shirts.

•  Harley is deadset that if Joker was a dog he would be a doberman. She refuses to acknowledge or consider any other dog breeds. He essentially acts like a doberman guard dog when it comes to her. If Harley goes out walking at night he's always right behind her, a hand holding the gun in his pocket and he quite literally growls at anyone who comes within 5 feet of her.

• Going off on that Joker thinks that Harley is the perfect mix of a golden retriever and a Chihuahua depending on what mood she's in. She's either happy, loyal, lovable and a literal ray of sunshine or small and fucking terrifying.

•  Harley has a collection of bath bombs in their bathroom and J does not understand why she likes them so much. He still gets them for her when he sees them but he thinks they're pointless non the less.

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Lilmisspuddinpop.