Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Sick baby.

Wordcount: 1,215
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Harley slowly opened her eyes from her sleep, immediately getting attacked by a coughing fit.

“Shhh, It’s alright, baby.”

She felt Joker’s hand rub up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her cough.

Once she recovered, she sat up with a sniffle. Joker was sitting on the edge of the bed, most likely waiting for her to wake up. “Feeling any better?” Harley shook her head.

One week ago, Joker had a heist planned out, however, he didn’t realise it would rain terribly the same day. Harley was not dressed for the weather, as per usual, thus catching a cold from being out in the rain. Joker felt terrible. He’s spent the last few days fussing over Harley and apologising over and over again.

“Do you want your medicine?”

Harley groaned. They were out of the nice flavoured medicine (AKA the children’s) because there was some shortage or whatever in Gotham. “No.”

Joker tucked her hair behind her ears. “C’mon, baby. It’ll make you feel better.” Harley shook her head. “No.” “Harley,” Joker tried to sound stern, but failed and let a little laugh come out. “Nuh!”

“You are a literal toddler.”

“You’re mean.”

“Baby, if you take it now, you won’t have to take it again until later,” Joker told her, before he grabbed the medicine from the nightstand.

This has been the routine for the past 3 days. Harley wakes up, he spends half an hour trying to give her her medicine, then they go about their day, and then when the evening starts approaching, he spends another half hour trying to give her her medicine.

Harley shook her head yet again. “Daddy’s going to go out later and see if he can get your nice medicine, alright?” She nodded. “Until then you’ll have to take this one.” “You’re abusing me.”

Joker blinked. “Darling, how is wanting you to feel better abusing you?” “Now you’re gaslighting me.” Joker wanted to make his toddler remark again, but he supposed a toddler wouldn’t know the word “gaslight,” nor how to use it correctly.

“I’ll put your favourite movie on before I go out, okay?” “But I’m a cheerleader?” “Yes, baby. But I’m a cheerleader.” Harley smiled. “But, only if you take your medicine.” Harley frowned.

“Do we have a deal, Harls?” Joker asked, still holding the medicine bottle. “Fine.”

Joker unscrewed the cap on the bottle, and then poured the reddish-brown liquid into the cap. Harley turned her nose up at it.

Harley took the cap from him, quickly downing it, her face contorting in disgust. Anyone would have thought she just took a shot of pure Everclear.

“Good girl, baby,” Joker said, making Harley’s face heat up. His praise seemed to make the syrup’s aftertaste a little sweeter. He kissed her cheek and took the cap from her. “Do you need anything before I go?”

Joker would usually get a henchman to go to the store for him, but he wanted to get some of Harley’s favourite snacks as a treat; he still felt terrible for not checking the weather. Luckily the store they usually shop at was closed for a few days, so he could just break in and get what he needed. “No, I’m just gonna sleep.”

“Alright, baby. I’ll put your movie on.”

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Breaking into the store was easy, Joker was convinced an 8-year-old could do it. He wasn’t sure they even had a security system.