Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Headcannons.

• J puts a cup of water on his office desk in the morning because Harley always forgets to drink water in the morning. when she comes in his office like usual he gives it to her and asks her to drink it, which sometimes ends in a playful little argument. “Pud, I don’t need it I literally just had a cup of cola before I came in.” “Sweetheart, you can not live with cola as your only source of hydration.” “Why not!” “Because I am not going to let you pass out from dehydration.”

• Sometimes when J’s really busy, and Harley wants attention, she’ll fake crying so that J gives her cuddles, and kisses thinking that she’s upset until she starts laughing.

•  J doesn’t put any sugar in his coffee, and Harley calls him an animal for it.

• They’re both completely self aware of how clingy they are but don’t care at all.

• J always double checks that Harley has her seatbelt on before he starts driving, always.

• When Harley needs to get up for whatever reason in the night, J grabs onto her for dear life, mumbling for her to stay while he’s still half asleep. Most of the time his sentences don’t make much sense, and just barely get the point across, usually along the lines of “No. Baby need stay,” or “baby not move.” When he finally lets her go he makes upset growling noises until she comes back.

• Harley tries to teach J how to speak in a Brooklyn accent but he ends up just sounding like he’s speaking gibberish no matter how hard he tries. 

• Sometimes Harley goes on small missions with the squad without prison involved, and when she does, J packs her a little snack box to take with her filled her favourite snacks. He also puts a note in it telling her to be safe, and that he can’t wait for her to come back home. Harley always tells him he doesn’t need to spend his time doing that, and she just gets herself food while on missions, but he insists that she needs healthy snacks. (I know this probably wouldn't happen, but the thought of J doing this is so cute to me.)

• J tries to wear and walk around in Harley’s heels, and it never ends well, he almost breaks his ankles every single time, and his respect for Harley immediately goes up. It doesn’t help that he usually goes for her six inch Adidas instead of something he actually has a chance of walking in.

• Their laughs are basically contagious to each other, when one of them starts laughing the other starts laughing, and then it’s just them laughing at each other’s laugh for like 10 minutes. It’s like when one husky dog starts howling then all the others start howling too.