Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Headcannons.

• Harley has the ability to do an extremely deep voice that makes it sound like she's been smoking 20 cigarette packs a day for 40 years. She likes using it to fuck with the henchmen and says things like "AY! AY! What the fuck are you doing over there! Fuck you, Tom!" It makes J laugh uncontrollably. he's so used to her relatively young and high pitched, feminine voice with Brooklyn undertones and it just kills him to see her voice go from that, to a 90 year old drunk grandmother that smokes over a hundred cigarettes a day and has been doing so since the age of 25.

• J gets very excited when he's been out all day and finally comes home to Harley. People would think he hasn't seen her for a whole month when in reality it's been around 5-7 hours.

• Harley is a literal magnet for stray kittens. For some reason, they always walk up to her for pets and frequently end up laying on her lap and kneading her. J finds it both adorable and inconvenient. Sometimes they will be getting prepared to start a heist, and a random kitten will come and rub against her leg until she picks it up, and Harley refuses to put it down until the cat goes away by themselves because in her words "That's a line of evil even I don't cross." It causes heist to be delayed by 20 minutes because Harley's sat there petting and snuggling a kitten.

• Harley has a random little freckle on her neck that's usually covered by her hair, even in her pigtails, J finds it absolutely adorable. He loves gently kissing it and he gets a little sad when she uses makeup to purposely cover it up.

• Even though Harley and J aren't currently married, they still consider themselves as husband and wife, they don't care if it's not legal or they don't have the rings or never even had a proposal, in their minds they are husband and wife. Joker actually gets very offended when someone calls Harley his girlfriend instead of his wife. They do see themselves having a proper wedding one day, but they don't find it necessary. They know they will be together forever and they already consider themselves a married couple, a wedding would just be a celebration of their love.

• Sometimes when J gets too drunk, he ends up crying to Harley about how much he loves her. Harley encourages it because it's not often that Joker lets himself cry, even when Harley explains it's good for him and can help with stress, so no matter what it's about, she encourages him to cry as long as he needs. Most of the time he doesn't remember it when he wakes up, but Harley notices the improvement of his mood over the next few days.

• They both love playing hide and seek when they're bored. When J finds Harley he always picks her up and tickles her, spinning them both around while yelling "I found you! I found you!"

• Sometimes if Harley's asleep and J is still awake, he'll just watch her and think about how pretty she is, not in a creepy way, but in a "I'm completely in love with this woman" way.

• Harley really wants snake bite piercings, but the one thing stopping her is that after she gets it done she wouldn't be able to kiss J for 3 to 6 weeks while it's healing to not risk infection.

• One time, Harley posted a video of her and J cuddling on Instagram, it was full of giggling, kissing and nuzzling because Harley was showing him cute filters while they were in bed. It got quite popular and the comments were a mix of people shipping them and gushing over it, and people saying "What the fuck," and bashing the people who commented about it being cute. Harley forgot when she posted the video that they were the most wanted people in the country and that most people thought they had an abusive relationship, she just thought it was sweet.

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Lilmisspuddinpop.