Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Headcannons

• Joker gets jealous when he sees Harley cuddling with Bud and Lou instead of him. "Puddin, ya need to stop getting jealous of the damn hyenas." "But why do they get your love and attention instead of me?"

• Harley always forgets to take out her pigtails before sleeping. Because of this, J often finds himself gently taking her hair out of the hair bands, combing his hand through her hair to smooth it down, making quiet little comments about how much he loved her hair.

• They get into a lot of 'I love you more' fights, it's starts off sweet then they slowly start saying it more and more aggressively until something or someone interrupts them.

• Harley loves to cuddle with J inside his shirt while he's wearing them so she's essentially trapped into him. She likes it because it makes her somewhat pressed into him instead of just cuddling against him. J finds it both adorable and amusing, especially when she tugs at the edge of his shirt and looks up at him to silently tell him that she wants to cuddle like that. He calls it her cuddling cocoon because she's essentially cocooned in between his chest and the front of his shirt.

• If J catches any of the henchmen staring at Harley for more than 10 seconds they're shot on the spot. Harley has gotten used to it and has learnt that if there is a henchmen she didn't like, she could tell J that he looked at her for too long and he'd be killed immediately no questions asked, even though simply telling J that she didn't like that person would have had him killed, she thought it was more entertaining to see an angry J kill someone.

• Harley makes small noises when she's sleeping, it's not sleep talking or anything to do with what she's dreaming about it's just quiet noises. J absolutely adores it and sometimes stays awake just to listen to them, mentally screaming in his head about how cute she is.
'Aww, she's making her sleeping noises' 'damn it, how does she expect me not to give her kisses WHEN SHE'S THIS FUCKING CUTE'

• When J is severely angry, he separates himself from Harley. He knows for a fact that he would never hit her but he's still scared that his anger would get the best of him and he'd lash out at her, verbally or physically. He would either stay in his office and lock the door until he calmed down or leave the house completely. as much as Harley hates it, she leaves him be, she understands that he was scared of hurting her.

• when it's summer, Harley and J have to put the AC on one of the coldest settings before they go to bed because if they don't it gets too hot while they're cuddling and they both refuse to even consider sleeping while not snuggling into each other.

•Harley gets romance books that she knows are trashy and horribly written just to laugh at them, especially ones that are written by ignorant men because she finds their descriptions of women hilarious. she sometimes shows J bits of it and he always ends up questioning the existence of men.

• When J is in a meeting at the club and Harley's tired or doesn't feel like dancing, she'll lay her head on his lap and he'll pet and scratch her head while working. She sometimes ends up falling asleep and J will
carry her up to their bedroom.

• Harley often hurts her shoulders while using her bat and J likes to use it as an excuse to give her massages.

• Harley loves watching live concerts on TV.
Sometimes J wakes up late at night and sees that Harley isn't in bed and goes downstairs to find her watching one, snuggled up on the couch with a bunch of blankets and a bowl of popcorn. He usually sneaks up on her and surprises her with kisses, making her jump then slap his arm for scaring her.

• They both frequently wake up tangled up into each other. it makes them both laugh a little bit because they usually go to sleep with Harley's head on J's chest with her arms around him in some way and J has one arm wrapped around her torso and his free hand in her hair and then they wake up in the weirdest cuddling position imaginable.