Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Headcanons.

- When Harley's upset and J wants her to smile, he'll gently kiss over the corners of her mouth and on her dimples. It gets her smiling every time, even if it's only for a couple seconds.

- J loves how he gets to see all the little parts of Harley's personality that others don't. All the little things she does, all her habits and her mini routines.

(This is based on my other headcanon that SS Joker is autistic.)
- Harleen was the one to diagnose Joker as autistic. She thought it was incredibly obvious, and was disgusted when she learnt her coworkers realized a long time ago, but didn't bother to tell or diagnose him. To them it was "pointless" because he'd "Never be in situations where he'd need a diagnosis." Harleen was the only one to recognize that he should at least be told about the disorder he had. Luckily, she was qualified to diagnose him herself, so she didn't have to push for it.

- They love watching cringy, terribly done romance films for shits and giggles. Anything like After, 365 days, and all the sequels they've most likely watched. 50 shades of grey is a personal favorite of theirs. It makes them cackle each time, they even took turns reading the books out loud to each other, snickering like middle schoolers.

-  Joker loves sour, Harley loves sweet. Both of them get little cravings for their preferred taste. Harley's lucky enough that if she doesn't have sweets on hand she can find another food to satisfy her craving, whilst Joker ends up taking shots of lemon juice from the fridge.

-  Harley has full on back and forth conversations with Bud and Lou. They don't do it with J, only Harley.

-  J gets needy when Harley's talking on the phone for too long. When she's on a call, he almost always  has his head in her lap, purring as she plays with his hair, her voice occasionally lulling him into sleep.

-  Harley is the definition of passenger princess. She hates driving cars, only motorcycles, and will throw a fit if J can't drive her somewhere, she claims she "Doesn't feel safe" being driven by anyone else. The only exception is girls nights out. She sits in the passenger seat, demanding that J's hand be kept on her thigh when he wasn't using the gear shift, playing her music, "Politely" asking him for a coffee when they pass a Starbucks and playing on her phone. Her duties are to relax and drink her coffee. If she wants to be helpful she'll rub J's shoulders and kiss up his neck, thanking him for driving her.

-  J doesn't object. He puts his hand on her thigh, buys her a drink, and drives her wherever she pleases. He checks and undoes her seat belt, opens and closes the door for her, lets her control the music, air conditioning and heater, and slows down when she has to fix her makeup. He can never be annoyed about it, even when she throws a fit. He'd rather her refuse to be in a car with someone else than get into a car with someone who will compromise her safety. So she continues to be his spoilt passenger princess. He even put a "Daddy's passenger princess" sticker on the mirror of her side.

-  When J leaves for work and Harley can't come with, he always brings back something for her. Such as a necklace or diamond encrusted hair barrettes.
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Joker is autistic to me okay! It's probably me self projecting but that man is not neurotypical!!! Also, does anyone actually watch the 50 shades of grey movies unironically? I've watched them a couple times for laughs but do some people genuinely watch it to enjoy and not just snicker at?
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Lilmisspuddinpop.