Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Hide & Seek.

Wordcount: 1192

- 

"Come out, come out, Harley-girl! You can't hide from Daddy forever!"

Harley held her hand over her mouth, stifling her giggles.

She squeaked excitedly as she heard Joker's footsteps get closer to the closet; where she was currently hiding. "Harley-girl," she heard him sing before the door knob turned.

Harley bit her lip in anticipation.

Joker threw Harley over his shoulder with a big grin. "I've got you! I've got you!" Harley held onto the back of Joker's shirt and kicked her feet happily as he spun them around.

Joker held onto Harley's waist and got a proper hold of her, letting her wrap her legs around him. He leaned in and gently kissed her ear, before whispering, "I won."

"Whatever," Harley said simply, a slight grin still on her face.

Joker slowly placed her down on her feet. "I'm gonna win this time!" Harley smirked, her voice filled with certainty. "Well, good luck then." Joker walked out of the bedroom with his chin high, clearly proud of his 3 wins in a row.

- 

A few minutes later, Harley was rummaging around the kitchen trying to find Joker.

"Puddinnn!" she whined in annoyance. 

-

 Joker chuckled as he heard Harley's whine.

He sat with his legs crossed in the attic above the kitchen. He hummed as he realised the large attic would make a nice sex room. Give it a good clean out, bring in a bed, and throw in their many toys and some fun equipment, maybe install some lights, and it would be perfect! He should bring that up to Harley later.

A few minutes went past as Joker imagined what he and Harley could do in a room like this, including some very vivid imagery of Harley laid out—

Joker's head snapped to the side as the attic door flew up, Harley's head poking out.

"I found ya' Puddin!"

Harley scrambled to get into the attic and jumped onto Joker, covering his face in kisses.

Joker put his thoughts of Harley tied up and bare on the bed away for later, instead watching as she squealed with joy.

"I beat you!" Harley exclaimed happily, wrapping her arms around Joker's neck.

-

Harley drummed her feet against the floor, careful not to make too much noise.

She peeked over from underneath Joker's office desk, smirking when she saw no one in the room with her. I'm gonna win! I'm gonna win! She told herself, holding back a giggle.

She quickly quieted herself as she heard footsteps from down the hall.

"Where could my dear girl be?" she heard Joker say, footsteps getting closer. She ain't in here, pud' maybe try the bedroom, Harley thought as she twirled the end of her pigtail in between her fingers.

Harley kept still when she heard Joker enter the room and walk over to the desk.

-

Joker leisurely looked over the desk, whistling as he took quick glances at the many papers and notes he had laying around.

Knowingly, his hand went over to a pen that he had forgotten to put back in its cup. He smirked as he lightly pushed the pen with his finger, making it roll across the desk and fall onto the floor.

-

Harley barely suppressed a squeak as the pen dropped to the ground, right next to her foot.

"Darling, will you be a good girl and pick up Daddy's pen?"

Harley didn't bother to quiet her groan of disappointment, just picked up the pen and placed it back on the desk. "Care to come out, sweetheart?" Grudgingly, Harley accepted her fate, and crawled out from under the desk, standing up to look at Joker; who was placing the pen back in its pot.

"Hello, my love," Joker said sweetly, picking up some papers and putting them together, getting an exaggerated sigh in reply.

"I was gonna win," Harley said, crossing her arms.

"Aww, come here, Baby." Joker smiled sympathetically, holding his arms out for her.

-

"Puuuddinn!" Harley sang, skipping through the halls of their home, keeping her eye out for anything suspicious

After a few minutes, Harley found herself in one of the many spare bedrooms. Her smile quickly turned cocky as she heard the noise of someone shifting from underneath the bed.

Instead of going over and claiming her victory, Harley decided to play with Joker as he had with her.

Harley walked over to the corner, making sure that Joker heard her steps. She smacked her hand against the wall, the sound echoing through the mostly empty room, making it much louder.

Next, she put her back against the wall and slid down to the floor. She started making pained noises, wincing and moaning until she knew Joker heard her.

It only took a few seconds for Joker to come out from under the bed. He kneeled down to her as his pulse picked up. "Darling? Sweetheart, what did you hurt?"

Joker pulled Harley into his lap, his arms enveloping her in warmth. "I-I hit my head... It hurts really bad..."

"Shhh, it's going to be okay, princess," Joker whispered while one of his hands went to gently nurse her head

He continued to cradle and nurse her "hurt" head until Harley couldn't hold her laughter anymore and maniacally giggled into his shoulder.

"I gotcha' ta' come out!" Harley said happily, now back to her bouncy, bubbly self.

Joker felt like he should have been annoyed at her, but in reality, he was just relieved that she wasn't hurt.

-

They went through several more rounds until Harley was nowhere to be seen. Joker was starting to consider that she got fed up with losing and ran away to Ivy's or something.

"Sweetheart, come on out."

Joker was aimlessly walking around the master bedroom when he heard faint snoring noises.

He kept walking around the room, trying to find where the snoring noise was coming from. He was just about to walk past the clothing hamper when he heard Harley's soft snore. Joker turned around, blinking in slight disbelief.

Joker opened the top of the hamper, finding exactly what he thought he would.

Harley was fast asleep and curled up inside the clothing hamper, one of Joker's shirts wrapped tightly around her, acting as a blanket.

"Baby doll..." Joker couldn't keep himself from chuckling quietly.

He reached inside the hamper to scoop Harley up, still lightly chuckling to himself. Harley was so out of it that she didn't make the tiniest peep. Once he had her secure in his arms, Joker took Harley over to the bed, not bothering to close the hamper.

Joker pulled back the comforter to gently place Harley down. "Only you, baby," he said quietly, still in a bit of disbelief that Harley managed to fall asleep in a clothing hamper. Well, it's not the weirdest thing you've done.

Joker reached to pull off his shirt that Harley had wrapped around herself, managing to get it off her shoulder before Harley whined in her sleep and pulled the shirt back over herself.

"Alright, you can have it." Joker pulled the comforter over her, giving her head a gentle kiss.

"Have a good nap, Darling."

- 

Lilmisspuddinpop.