Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Face painting.

Wordcount: 493.

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"Puddinnn, stop itttt!"

Harley whined, paint brush in hand as J kept moving around in her vanity chair. He playfully bit at her, flashing his metal grills. "I'm already a clown, sweetcheeks. What's all this for, huh?"

"Because it's not fun if you look like you always do! That ruins the entire point! If you wear what you always do it isn't a costume you're just wearing clothes!"

J chuckled. He liked winding her up. "I could wear nothing if you'd like?" he smirked. "Fuck off are you going out ass naked! You're mine!" Harley grabbed his face, forcing him to sit still as she tried to fill in the black diamond over his eye. "You're just being mean, pud."

Halloween music played in the background from Harley's Bluetooth speaker on one of the bedside tables. She'd been trying to paint his face for a good 30 minutes now, but J was clearly in a very uncooperative mood tonight. She had a picture up on her phone of an old clown that she was referencing, twice now he'd snatched it and pulled up a rather risque photo of herself, just to annoy her.

"Of course I'm mean, sweets. I kill people for a living."

"Haven't killed me!" Harley perked up, grinning, dipping her paintbrush back into the little tub of face paint she'd ganked from the mall yesterday. "You're too pretty to kill, babydoll. And you're a good girl."

Harley giggled, beginning to fill in the very top corner of the diamond. "So, if I was a bad girl, you'd kill me?"

"Oh, no, just teach you a lesson." Harley barely caught his hand as he reached around, his intention clear. "Uh-Uh. You're not distracting me, Mistah J. I've spent too long on this!"

"You know me too well, doll." "Yeah, and you were just reachin' 'round my ass. You're not slick, puddin." Harley sat herself on his lap so she could paint the intricate parts of the diamond better, he wrapped his arms around her waist so she couldn't slip off.

"You look beautiful, honey," J said. It was likely the first genuine comment he'd made since she'd pulled out the face paint and brush. "Thanks, sugar," Harley smiled, her annoyance diminishing considerably. "Just lemme get this bit and then I'm all done!"

Harley brushed J's hair back, taking her paintbrush to his forehead. She quietly hummed to herself, the tip of her tongue poking out of her mouth ever so slightly as she went into focus. J thought her "Focusing face" was precious. "Promise you won't start another fight with Red again? I just want a fun Halloween party without you two at each other's throats. Please?"

J grabbed her hand that was holding the paintbrush, pulling it away. He sighed slightly. "I won't start anything, Darling. For you. Daddy gives you his word."

"Thank you, puddin!" Harley dropped her paintbrush, wrapping her arms around him.

"Anything for you, my sweet."

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I'm still not over how off the rails my last one-shot went.

Anyway, I am working on a much longer, better one-shot, but it isn't finished, it wasn't meant to be posted as my Halloween one-shot anyway. I'm really proud of how it's turning out and I don't want to ruin it by rushing it. It's an AU and I'm going to write more in the universe, I want to do it right. So I just wrote this up in half an hour or so, not the best but not the worst:)

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Lilmisspuddinpop.