Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Halloween!

I have learnt from last year's Christmas oneshot, and wrote and finished this on October 4th, but if you’re reading this, it’s the 31st or later:)

Wordcount: 1,190

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Harley happily skipped into Joker’s office with a smile on her face, closing the door behind her.
“You’re happy this morning, Baby,”  Joker said, turning off his laptop. She nodded and walked over to him.

He patted his lap, moving his chair back slightly. “Come here, Baby.” Harley giggled and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck as he kissed her on the cheek. “What’s gotten you so excited, Princess?”
“I get to show you my costume today!” Harley’s smile widened. She had gone out with Ivy a few weeks prior and found a Halloween costume that she adored, but she was keeping it secret until Halloween, which was today.

“Hmm, is it a bunny?” Harley shook her head. “Isss it a pumpkin?” Harley shook her head again, and Joker decided to try a different approach, gently grabbing onto her hips. “Is it something sexy, Baby?” Harley just shrugged and smirked.  

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Later in the afternoon.

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Harley giggled whilst looking in the bathroom mirror, adjusting her red, devil horn headband.

She had found a cute devil costume. The costume consisted of a red, zip-up corset with black details, a pair of black fishnets, and a red tutu-style skirt. She had added some jewellery she already owned and her red platform boots to complete it.

She quickly checked her makeup and then her hair, which was down and resting against her shoulders, instead of her usual pigtails. She touched up her lipstick, then smirked as she walked towards the bathroom door, leading to the bedroom.

“Ya ready, Puddin?” “Ready as ever, Baby.” She opened the door and saw Joker sitting on the bed waiting for her. What she didn’t expect him to say was, ”Awwww.”

Harley raised her eyebrow. “You make such an adorable little devil, Baby doll.” He stood up and went over to her, holding her face in his hand, unable to resist the urge to gently squeeze her cheeks. “You’re just so fucking adorable.” Harley couldn’t help but smile. While she expected a completely different type of reaction, this one was quite sweet.

“Frost brought the pumpkins in by the way,” J said, then kissed the top of her head. “Such cute horns, Like you’re a cute little devil training to be a scary devil.” Harley just waited until he was finished gushing about how cute she was then went downstairs with him.

They went into the dining room, finding their medium-sized pumpkins sitting on the table, two packs of pumpkin carving tools laying placed next to them. Harley sat down on one of the chairs, pulling her pumpkin closer to her. “My Pumpkins gonna be better than yours, Puddin,” she sang teasingly while J sat on the chair across from hers. “You sure about that, my little Devil?” Harley nodded confidently. ”We’ll see about that, Kitten.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and picked up her phone to find a carving design while he just laughed, eventually getting his phone from his pocket to do the same.

Once J found his design, he picked up one of the knives and stabbed it into the top of the pumpkin, making Harley jump.

“Fucking hell!!”

J couldn’t stop himself from snickering as Harley death stared at him. ”I’m sorry, My Dear.”
Harley looked back down at her phone and J continued carving the top off of his pumpkin.

Harley put her phone down once she found a design she liked, picking up the knife to remove the top of the pumpkin, meanwhile J was already scooping out the insides of his.

“And this, Jeremy, is what happens when you call the bat on the King and Queen of Gotham City, It doesn’t end well does it? no. I don’t know why anyone would enjoy this?”

Harley looked up from her pumpkin to look at J, who was having the time of his life getting the seeds out of his pumpkin.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” she asked, her words turning into laughter as J seemed so into the pumpkin scooping that he didn’t realise she spoke at first. “I’m lecturing Jeremy, Darling,” He said simply. Harley blinked. ”Do you even know a Jeremy?” J thought for a moment, then shrugged. “I fucking do now.” Harley shook her head and went back to carving her own pumpkin.

She eventually finished scooping out the pumpkin seeds and started on the design with one of the tools. “You’re concentrating face is adorable, Doll,” she heard J say. “You’re obsessed with callin’ me cute, Pud.” J continued carving his pumpkin as he spoke, “Well it’s not my fault that you’re the cutest thing to ever walk on planet earth.”

“My design is too hard..” Harley groaned after a few minutes of silence. “You can do it, Baby!” J replied encouragingly, reaching across the table to gently pat her hand.

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They both had smiles on their faces as they turned their pumpkins around, letting the other see them.

Joker had done a simple, evil jack-o-lantern face, resembling the facial features of Jack skellington, and Harley had done the shape and facial features of Oogie boogie.

They both laughed as they realised they had carved characters from the same film.

“I’m going to grab the candles, Baby.” Joker got up from his chair, gave Harley a quick kiss and went to get the candles to put in the pumpkins. Harley patiently waited for him, adjusting her headband and corset.

He came back a few minutes later with two small candles and a lighter in his hands. He handed Harley the lighter as he put down the candles on the table. “Please, don’t burn the house down, Bub,” he said, placing one of the candles into his pumpkin. ”I won’t, I promise,” She replied, doing the same.

Harley picked up the lighter and reached into the pumpkin to light the candle. “Careful, Harls, Careful.” She playfully rolled her eyes. “I’m not a child, Puddin,” she said, then handed J the lighter once her candle was lit. “No, but you are concerningly clumsy, especially for a gymnast,” he chuckled, taking the lighter. He slowly lit the candle in the pumpkin, being careful not to burn it.  Harley clapped once both of the candles were lit. “Yay!”

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Harley walked into her and J’s shared bedroom and closed the door, still in her devil costume. “Do you like my costume, Daddy?” She asked, doing a little spin for him.
“Yes, Baby, Daddy loves your costume,” J said, walking over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close, pressing her against him. “Is your question answered?” she smirked, referencing his question earlier of whether or not her costume was sexy. He nodded. “Mmm, Yes, Princess..” He placed a soft kiss on her red lips. “Your costume is in fact very sexy.” His fingers reached up to hold the zipper that kept her corset up. His metal teeth gently bit the top of her ear as he slowly pulled his fingers down, taking the zipper down with him.

“Then again, you seem to have a way of making everything look sexy.”  

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While I think we all know what happened after this, let’s just say Harley’s costume didn’t stay on for very long;)
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Lilmisspuddinpop.